Note 23

Well, I think I'm going to continue this programming thing. I still don't know DS and A, but I applied to an internship at a FAANG company with the help of a referral. I know those don't really do much and I need to put in a lot of work myself, but at least it'll get me read!

Being busy with finding housing for the next school year, work, and just general life has just left my head spinning. I just want to relax and play video games but I know that eventually the interview will loom forth and if I don't put in the work now, I will completely fail it. I really need this internship (both for experience and finance wise).

I just feel so self destructive. There are so many times where I feel as if I know what the right actions to take are, but my brain just completely refuses them. It's like the dopamine hits I get from playing video games just completely override everything else. My idiot brain even wants to bring my pc to school even though I have a functioning laptop. I keep wanting to beat my brain into submission, but instead it whoops me every time. Like just now, I chose more expensive housing because I wasn't sure if I was comfortable being around/taking care of kids for about 9 months. 9 months, that would be it. It would just be some driving, I wouldn't be forced to take a job, 9 months. But I just really, really wanted to have a room where I didn't have to worry about kids. WHY. ME.

In any case, I need to wake up in a few hours. I MUST STUDY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BRAIN. WORK WITH ME HERE.