Note 24

It feels like it has been a while, but it's only been about a month. I've finished my job at the Amazon warehouse and I will be studying at home this quarter. I still plan on taking computer science courses but I think I need to think bigger picture. I still have no clue what I'd like to pursue in the future, and. it feels like I'm lying to myself by saying that becoming a software engineer is my path.

A video I just watched by a psychiatrist who focuses on helping video gamers says that I should instead realign what I do in college to fit what I'd like to do in the future. And that future job/goal should come from what I'm passionate about. It's a bit cringey but I honestly only care about video games. I don't really enjoy much else, and escaping into that world interests me more than anything. Obviously I think this goes for most people. Video games are meant to be fun and entertaining, it's not like writing code all day long is the most fun thing in the world. But the mental stimulation from coding literally cannot compare to video games. I love competition and winning, and programming ultimately just doesn't have that. I think the closest thing would be becoming a hacker. Which I've thought about and I'm not really sure if it's what I want to do.

I have a habit of getting somewhat interested, and if there's an easy path to figure things out and obtain at least the basic knowledge to get started I'll just breeze through. But, I also can drop it really quickly if it becomes too boring. That's what I think will happen if I do hacking. I mean clearly I should give it a try before dissing it, but I still would love to pursue something in video games. Preferably not making them. I have zero interest in coding video games. Maybe this quarter I'll really give it my all doing this hacking thing. But I should try to keep the video game industry in the back of my mind. It definitely seems like something I'd love to try.

In other news, I start school again in a couple of days. Here's hoping that this quarter will be a good one. Going to try and put in a lot of work this time around.