Note 38

I have the notification that an update is available (i'm on mac) and there's literally no button to actually update. It's pretty annoying.

I can't lie. I do still have lingering feelings of the person I liked. Well "like" I guess is the grammatically correct verb. But it's definitely lessened. Especially with some more things I've learned about her which aren't particularly good. One could say that they're actually pretty bad. But it's a bit up for interpretation.

I had to deal with a pretty intense situation with my esports team yesterday. That was extremely emotionally draining, coupled with the fact that my flight home to attend my recently deceased aunt's funeral was cancelled, I am just not really having the best time. At least the professor of my new summer class is interesting. Or at least isn't boring and hard to listen to.

To be honest, I don't even know why I'm writing today. I just feel like I needed to type. I just feel drained. I feel... apathy? I'm not sure. It's not emotionless, but I can't really say that it's just being tired or exhausted. Well I am feeling a bit tired. I don't really know. I'm a bit out of touch with my feelings as you can tell.

I kinda wish I just booked a flight at a bit later of a time and just went home where I'm fully comfortable and I don't need to think about what to eat. But, my gut told me to stay put. Whether that's the right move or not, I don't know. But here's hoping. It really is hard being proud of my logical thinking when sometimes I just throw logic out the window.

Maybe I just want to be held and feel loved. Don't we all?

I think I'm going to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep. Til next time.