Note 46

September 10, 2023•53 words

I just don't want to be mediocre in the things I care about anymore.

I want to be able to put in the work.

I want to become better day after day.

What the fuck is so wrong with me that I can't put in the work for something I actually care about.

👍❤️🫶👏👌🤯🤔😂😍😭😢😡😮

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Note 45

May 11, 2023•354 words

How do you decide to pursue something? The only real thing I want to do is just while away my time while playing video games and consuming content on the internet. Which, admittedly. probably isn't a good thing. But, nothing really appeals to me. I think the closest thing would be working in the esports scene, probably in competitive operations or something in that vein. Academically, probably interpretability research in machine learning. Of these options, or any derivative of these options,...

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Note 47

November 5, 2023•264 words

I can't stop thinking about what I'll do after I graduate. I feel awful having spent these last four years in the way that I have. I've had 0 motivation, 0 drive to do anything but think about video games, and even that hasn't turned into anything fruitful. I'm so afraid of committing to something, to really put all my eggs in one basket that I end up doing nothing at all, or just a half assed job at a bunch of things. And because of that I'm leaving university with more debt than probably any o...

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Note 46

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Note 45

Note 47

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