OSaD, D72

March 17, 2021•46 words

Me siento a veces viejo para los juegos que juego conmigo mismo. I push hard, I dedicate myself, then let up. Sounds normal, though. I guess I'm just tired of avoiding work until the last minute. Perform, do a good job, then fall back to sleep.

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OSaD, D71

March 15, 2021•227 words

I cannot help, but to think that negativity has more purchase on some than others. It's actually undeniable. The kids who kill themselves. Then there's the chronically depressive. What the fuck with that? How do you dig yourself out of the whole when you're down that deep and is it your fault, your responsibility when you finally say "fuck that shit, I'm outta here"? Man, I just want to live my fucking life. And it's not like I don't notice shit creeping up on me. And I do my breathing and somet...

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OSaD, D73

March 18, 2021•445 words

Feeling like shit—an exploration. So, for the nth time, I feel like a worthless fucking piece of shit. When this happens I go 'round and 'round looking for an explanation or an exit. This time, instead of just going in cicles in my mind, I'm writing shit down, just so that at least I don't retrace my steps over and over, motherfuckers. Regarding the cause, I wonder. I wonder, because I do meditation and asanas and kiirtan (chanting), all of which supposedly helps you feel a bit better. And ...

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OSaD, D72

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OSaD, D71

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