revealing

I was reminded yesterday that most of the time, it's not so much what you say but how you say it that's of real significance. I don't mean that in terms of achieving something or impressing others, but rather with regards to the fundamental emptiness of words.

Our words are vehicles, and part of what they carry and convey are the underlying feelings and intentions of the speaker. Is this person comfortable? Fearful? Playful? Insecure? Confident? Sincere? Depressed? Victimizing? Proselytizing? Clowning? Tyrannizing?

Get too caught up in the content and you'll miss the subtext. More than that, you'll miss what your own words are revealing about yourself.

My words yesterday revealed uncertainty. Doubt. Vulnerability. Fear. And my response to that revealed fear of having those feelings seen by others. Such a small moment with such an unsettling impact, still rippling across my being. My attention honed in on the words and what other ones I could have said instead, but that doesn't matter. It's not about the words. And it's no good wishing I had said them a different way so I could have continued to cover up what was revealed.

As much as I may wish those feelings weren't there, I'm glad I saw them. They revealed a truth that words can so easily cover up. Now I can move into it.