nirvana

I've been working through a nice loaf of sourdough. Thick and dense but lightly fluffy. Very filling, making me feel lazy. I'm going to go off bread for a while after this and see if it helps with the sluggyness. As nice as it is to eat and doze in this heat, I have things to do.

I was thinking about nirvana today while toasting some slices. I wonder if nirvana was originally meant to convey a permanently abiding state or one that you just go in and out of? I felt something like it a few times today. At first deep in my head about something, facial muscles clenched a bit while I was thinking. And then accepting/letting go of it and feeling a "blowing out" sensation as my thoughts dissipated and face relaxed. Then a causeless happiness emerging in the space left behind.

Is that it? Is that nirvana? Maybe...

I suppose as mindfulness grows you're bound to be in that state more and more, and maybe some do eventually dwell there more often than not. And those who do we call buddhas, sages, saints, masters? Or is there more to it than that?

whoosh