don't stress, don't try too hard, don't worry

It came to me that in the past decade or so I've gone through a number of experience that I look back on and cringe at. When those unwelcome memories cross my mind, I physically contract and shrink, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, small, less worthy, powerful, confident. When I was a bit younger, I didn't have many of those experiences and consequently rarely felt that way. I had a sort of relentless rationality - I simply wouldn't do things that would risk exposing me to those feelings. It occu...