Day 23: Matters

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
— Buddha

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

• Jesus

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

• Dylan Thomas

"Silt silent
Buried in the earth.
Creating a memory
That upon my return will be
Remembered."

• Gary Kirk

I have been reconciling myself with my world for a long time. You see, the world you know is not mine. I can't live there. It doesn't exist for me. My world is the volcano and the earthquake and the tsunami.

But there are points of peace. Not peaks, but islands and isthmus's of solace. Moments that pacify my anguish before I go to battle again.

It is my world. It was meant for me.

I am trying to rage gracefully.

It is so quiet this morning that you can almost hear the end of existence.

I love this gray quieting. It is deep and satisfies the soiled soul.

This is a foretaste of gentle living. I am only allowed glimpses of it. But at least I can recognize it when it presents itself.

Tomorrow, this moment may be replaced with madness.

But I can live with it and within it because it was meant for me.

To burn. To rave. Unrequited. Unsaved.