Day 35: It's The Life
July 1, 2019•350 words
The life of this crazy is a life of questioning. Every. Damn Word. Every thought. Every sentence is a question of "why did I say that?" And yes I call myself a crazy. Crazy. Because that's what it is. Most importantly, that's what I am.
I know that this journal of posts is public. Well hell. Every day I'm public. I don't have anything to hide. And as my aunt would say, "I'm going to die anyway."
Obsessing. The crack in the roof of mouth. Bite. Tongue. Feel. Bite. Tongue. Feel. Wider. Worry. Obsessing.
Break. Take a break. Break. Give me a break.
When is the final sleep? When is the point of being judge, jury, and executing by proxy?
Too much light this morning. Don't want light. Love the grays. The grays cover. The grays blanket. The grays soften the blow of having to make an appearance in the light of day.
Not that I care.
I don't keep up appearances. By all appearances I'd rather be demonized than idolized. Demons at least are more effective than the so-called "angelic host".
"My thoughts and prayers" and all that horseshit.
Post a selfie of you in prayer. Better yet, shouldn't they be posting videos of their prayers? They are such saints. They should be showing it.
Oh. I get it. They are too humble.
Laughing so hard I'm almost peeing. Now that's humility.
Let's pray to our awesome God who set his creation up for failure. Places a beautiful tree in the middle of a garden then tells his created animal not to eat the fruit off of it. The best fruit in town. You'll die. It's like putting a bowl of candy in the middle of the room and telling some kids not to eat any of it. Then leave the room. Bet they can't eat just one. Death to them! Suffer! Burn! Release the maggots! What a loving God! Amen!
begin as ultimate lies.
That is the life.
You cannot deny.
The best thing to do
is to live to defy."
It's the life.