Day 65: No ***

The morning. The coffee. The thoughts.

My Acer laptop has the worst build quality of any laptop I've owned. The case is barely put together. Especially in the front where the ball of my hand rests. Click clack. Click clack, because the lip of the case doesn't even come together even.

Also, the volume level is the lowest I've ever seen. And no fix for it. Should've stuck with Dell. It was the best I have had. Yes I know. They get bad raps too.

The best thing that Donald Trump has done is to reveal what frauds 21st century Christians and their Christianity are. Hopefully this will be its death knell.

I still miss the girl(?) who wrote so honestly on Listed.

I hope I'm starting to pick up the slack.

You could donate (the "Thank" button above") to incentivize me to walk again. I'm not above begging I guess.

Or you could donate to show you appreciate what I'm journaling. I'm still not above begging. It doesn't feel right but at least it would push me to be here every day and to write better. Ya think?

I'm not afraid of death https://thenapkinnotes.com/8829/is-it-reasonable-to-fear-your-own-death because I discarded the notion of a hereafter and the Christian doctrine of hell-fire and brimstone and eternal torment.

Hell I'm more afraid of daily living. I'm sorry. I believe the word is dread. When you're a depressive the word of the day is dread.

I live in a county that over a third of the population lives below the poverty line. I am one of them. But I really don't feel impoverished, if impoverished means not having the latest model car, or an Amazon Echo, or being able to buy as many of the "Daily Deals" on Amazon that you need just to keep up appearances with the Joneses, or paying to have satellite tv to have a shitload of stations that you will never watch, or having the latest top of the line, trendiest kitchen appliances. (Especially like a heavy duty commercial gas stove that you can admire as you go out the door to eat). I may be impoverished according to society, but I couldn't imagine having all of those things and still be empty and unsatisfied and sad.

Still for sale...

For sale. $440 million ought to do it. pic.twitter.com/lvU8tVl5nD

— the kirkyard (@kirkyard) May 5, 2019

Yes I slept with earplugs. You know. Dog barking and all. Tonight the white noise machine will have to be added.

Okay. Time for second cup of coffee. And maybe there will be...

More later. There's always more later.