Day 043

#100Days

Detaching from the invisible bonds

There is this recurrent idea or will that always led me to try to prevent undesired events from happening, or maybe put efforts into remediating their effects afterwards.

The attitude seems to be expressed due to a lack of understanding of a Stoic principle - from my side, of course.

Stoicism tells us that we should never bother about the things that are out of our control. Since there's nothing we can do to affect them, acting otherwise would be a waste of effort.

Ok, I've read about already, I've processed that information. Still, there are areas in life that don't seem to be covered by that understanding.

For instance, if a bad event takes place and triggers me somehow, causing a strong reaction to it, then I have a very good clue on what to investigate. But it certainly can take a good while until I make a pause, open myself some space so I can finally examine it deeper.

It is possible to detect a bond through examination. Detecting it enables me to detach myself from that reactive state, stopping the force that, before, would pull me towards uncomfortable situations. But disconnecting that bond is not always easy. One can understand its importance, but when the heart is strongly bound to something, it tends to refuse letting go.

I think that it could be compared to dying. You disconnect and let go. You wanted it to last, it was good, you were happy about it. But then you have to die (or let it die).

Today I discovered that disconnecting is an action you do, not an event that happens to you. In that sense, dying on purpose to a past is something you do, not something that happens to you. Once you die, you are immediately ready to born again.

A "death" in that context would mean a full disconnection. No leftovers, no tiny, hidden bonds here or there. The wound lasts a while, but after healed you're ready to go. A fresh start.