Cleo

Turns out, these last two weeks have actually just been a bit too overwhelming and my intention to return to writing here daily was not something I could manage. Whenever things are too hard, I have the voice of my friend Courtney saying "just be kind to yourself". That helps. And actually when I say the last two weeks, I really mean all of February if not all of this year so far. Sigh. When I started writing here, I had just moved out of my flat where I've lived for two years with my boyfri...

The one piece of advice from Ship30 that still rolls around in my mind today is "never miss a second day". Sure sometimes you'll miss a day, but then you can catch it up tomorrow! I wonder if anyone who believes that has ever gone for an overnight hike in the mountains with food poisoning and come back to a Sunday night fever and visit to the doctor for a drip for dehydration. My guess is not. Things like this tend to get in the way of trying to build in any consistency. I did think I had pu...

It's always about this time when I start doing something new that I begin to question my sanity. Why am I showing up each day to write these words? Why do I feel the need to guilt myself or gently push myself to continue on the days when I really don't feel like it? I've had a rough few days, and with so much fluidity in where I am and what I'm doing, I wonder if I have the capacity to take on this creative project. And yet, I also know that by taking on this 100 day project, I'm turning writ...

In October my friends began their move to Dubai in a rush to meet the deadline of a job offer. They're planning to take their cats over with them, but requiring various paper work like rabies certificates which need time to process, the cats needed a short-term place to stay. I was delighted. I love having cats around, yet my life has felt too unstable for the last few years to find myself a kitten to form a long-term bond with. I always feel like I'm on the brink of moving overseas, and I've ...

Yesterday was a full day. I went for a hike with my boyfriend in the morning, carrying the intention to speak about the status of our relationship and living status. Then met up with a friend I haven't seen in months, before joining a bigger group of friends spending Galentine's Day together drinking bubbles in the sunshine. I arrived home tired - both physically and emotionally, and dissolved myself into the couch. It wasn't until I climbed into bed that I realised I hadn't published here, ...

About a month ago I began a 30-day Yoga with Adriene challenge around the theme of "Center". With all my moving around, I knew that there would be some days I couldn't find my way to the mat - especially if I was staying with friends - but I would keep going until I reached day 30. I've just completed Day 18 and enjoyed the way she explored Gaze or Drishti. Before today, I had only ever considered finding a "point of focus" when I was struggling to find balance in a balancing posture. Today ...

How did you know when you had become an adult? Unless you're from a culture that creates rituals and ceremonies that really mark that transition, I'm guessing it might've been a far more random moment. Like My friend Tim who didn't feel like an adult when he got married, nor when he had his first child, but really it was when he bought a piece of meat for R400 to roast for Christmas dinner with his new little family. My transition took me by surprise and really whacked me over the head. I di...

It's been almost a month since I've moved out of the apartment I share with my boyfriend (see post #2). And while there's a lot of a sadness around it all, there is one thing I'm totally loving about it and that's the way I get to play tourist in a city I've lived in for 10 years. When we first spoke of me moving out to give the relationship some space, he suggested I find a single place for three months so I could settle into it and not feel the disruption of being home-less. While a great id...

It was 2019 when I first came across the idea of doing something 100 times. I had come across Anne-Laure Le Cuff and her blog on mindful productivity called Ness Labs. She shared that she had started that as a challenge to herself to write an article for her blog every weekday for 100 days. Being a member of her community in 2020, I saw what an impact that had on her creative confidence. Over the last few years, I've seen this trend happening more and more on Twitter. And right now I can think...

I met and fell in love with my boyfriend instantly in 2019. (For the sake of this essay let's call him Matt). Our first year together was a wild ride for each of us as individuals. But together there was a space of calm, gentleness, and safety. He's the founder of a growing startup and spent much of the year travelling internationally. I was melting at my corporate job, which resulted in a resignation halfway through the year. The months (and years) that followed were turbulent for me emotiona...

In 2019, as I was beginning to explore the idea of quitting my first job still unsure of what would come next, my (newish) boyfriend asked me "Given time, what would you do?" An answer immediately arose within me: "Write" I was a bit surprised by the clarity of that response at the time. I had never really explored the concept of having time to myself. Up until then I had spent the previous six years working in a big company, and put most of my efforts into building my professional-facing suit...