Atomic Essays by KP

When I grew up, mom never used to join us for breakfast or dinner. She'll be busy in the kitchen cooking for me and dad. Her logic was the breadwinner of the family and the kid should eat first and they should eat it while it's hot and fresh. She'll eat after we finish eating. I always hated the idea. As I grew up I tried to reason with her, said we could all eat together. But she never listened. She used to say that this is how women are suppose to be. I don't blame her. She was conditioned tha...

We make a lot of friends. But most of them fizzle out during the course of time. This happens because of several reasons. •Unsaid words - There is build up of several opinions about the other person for a long time. We keep it to ourselves to a point and we stop hanging out. The other person would try their best to connect and will eventually give up. •Life happens - We go on our own paths, fighting our own battles, we forget to get in touch with those who are close to us. At one point everybo...

I bought my bike - a Discover 100 DTS-Si under difficult circumstances. Even though I was working a full-time job, most of my salary went into re-paying the educational loan, paying bills, and managing the family expenses. And a year later, I had to quit my job to do my master's degree and my pocket money for a whole month was ₹800. So, I never had a lot of money for fuel. I'll fill petrol for ₹50 and drive around. I never filled petrol beyond the reserve point. My bike always ran on reserve f...

I recently met a friend from college. We were en route to meet a few other friends, and we started catching up. “What do you do now?”, she asked. I said, “I handle product marketing for an enterprise software company”. Her reply was, “so, you work in IT?” Even though we studied Biotechnology, a good chunk of us moved to IT and other jobs. “Yes…I work in IT, but in a non-IT job”, I replied. And that is when it struck me. I always wanted to be part of the tech space, but in a non-technical role...

I've heard so much from my mom and others about Chennai's weather. When I came here with my parents in 1999, I realized every bit of what I heard was true. The summer heat was unbearable and I was often amazed to see people in the city walking like it was nothing. And, the worst part was the weather remained unchanged for a good six to seven months. We lived in an independent house and we beat the heat by sprinkling water on the terrace during evenings to wade off the heat and by keeping all th...

My favorite pastime these days is having lunch in my car. I buy takeaway from a random biriyani shop, park my vehicle under a tree on some random road, turn up the AC, and eat the biriyani from the back seat of my car while listening to RJ Balaji's 'Naalana murukku' podcast. A car to me is more than a vehicle. It is my personal space. An extension of my home. My ticket to freedom. Truth be told, outside of my home, I am my true self when I am in my car. I put on my favorite song and sing along ...

I think about the weirdest things when I'm out on a walk. This time I thought about beer. "Some beer and fried chicken would be nice" I told myself. I then ignored the thought and continued walking. I stopped a few hundred meters from home to catch my breath. I looked up at the sky, but a neon signage blocked my view. The signage said "bar". It was a message from the universe. I listen to the universe. So, I went in and took the corner table. The bar was empty, cold, and the entire place was f...

This is a rant. The small 'bhavan' restaurant was full by the time I and Suba settled in our seats. The waiters were frantically moving between tables noting down and delivering orders. We asked for the specials and placed our order. A minute later, an elderly couple walked in with their daughter, son-in-law, and grandson who was not more than three years old. Since there were no seats, the family sat in the empty seats. The old man in the family waltzed to our table and asked his wife to sit n...

Money - that's the only thing I thought about in 2013. I realized I was dependent on my parents for too long. So, I started saying "Yes" to creative assignments. I didn't know any skill. But, I was confident that I can learn anything over a weekend. And, most times I did. The first time someone asked me if I can design a short film poster, I said yes. I also said I would deliver it in two days. But, I didn't know how to design a short film poster. I learned the basics of Photoshop over a weeke...

New cities can be overwhelming. The crowd, the culture, the food, the climate, the streets. Too much to take in when you're visiting a place for the first few times. I had a similar experience in Delhi recently. I've been to the city twice (my last visit was in 2016), but the experience this time was different. It wasn't like last time where I spent an entire evening sitting on one of the broken structures of the Hauz Khas fort that overlooked a small pond. A lot of things were different this t...

I take the same walking route every day. It's been close to a year since we moved to the new place and I pretty much knew all the shops and buildings in my street. But, yesterday I noticed something new on my street. It was an independent house. A big one. It was hiding amidst the plants and the trees. From the looks of it, I would say it was there for a long time. But, I failed to notice it before. Independent houses have that quality. They hide in plain sight, in the middle of apartments a...

I've acquired a new habit in the recent times. Working out of cafés. After two years of working from home, I realized chaotic environments help me focus better. I was able to focus better when the noise of a crowd played on my headphones. But, then I thought "why play recorded sounds of a crowd when I can actually be some place that has the real crowd?!" I realized there is a Starbucks five minutes away from where I lived. So, I decided to give it a shot. And, I loved it! The place was well-lit...

Human body is extremely forgiving. It forgives us of the abuse. It forgives when we have a few too many drinks on a crazy night. It forgives when we overeat in the name of fun and it forgives when we load our system with four times more refined sugar than what our body was built to withstand. It forgives us every single time, and manages to fix itself every time. Thanks to evolution we are gifted with better survival and immune mechanisms to help us live a long life. But, we mess it up in our...

Ten years ago, being a consumer was painful. The auto-rickshaw wala at the airport will ask thousand rupees for a Ten kilometer ride. The shopkeeper would charge a bomb and show us the "Fixed price. No discount." sticker when asked for a discount. The so called "consumer-centric" economy wasn't so consumer-centric. We were overbilled. Were charged a bomb for home delivery. Return of items was unheard of. And hefty discounts were never on the cards unless it is an 'Aadi Sale' at one of those st...

In 2001, the famous Tamil magazine Ananda Vikatan reached it's 75th anniversary. In the event of celebrating the remarkable milestone, the magazine organized several contests - poetry, short fiction, nonfiction writing, art, etc. I read a lot of prize-winning short stories and poems. It was fascinating to see so many talents (including thousands of others who participated but didn't win) What happened to those amazing stories? They have been forgotten. Readers wouldn't have saved copies of tho...

In India, whenever you decide to buy something - bike, car, or even a house, the first thing Indian parents say is "Will it be easy to clean? How often will you clean it? What if you don't clean it?...". This will be followed by the recollection of everything we've bought till then but not cleaned them enough. They might be suffering from Alzhiemer's or have poor vision. But, it never stops them from remembering the day you've not cleaned your car or spotting a speck of dust on the dashboard. T...

Today, there are a zillion ways to pass time compared to my childhood where I grew up without cable TV, computer, internet, or a smartphone. But, despite having everything, I’m disinterested or distracted most of the time. At one point I seriously doubted if I have a medical condition. I’d even googled to see if I have attention deficit disorder. And, like most google search adventures, it supported my view. Well done, Google! At first, I thought it was just me. But, later, when talking to a f...

It is hard to find someone to listen to. First of, everyone around us is incredibly busy working and hustling. When we finally get somebody to lean on and try to express our feelings, it turns into a contest of who’s suffering or feelings matter the most.  My parents used to do that a lot. I remember this incident where once an uncle who moved in to the opposite house started speaking to my dad and they started exchanging stories. The uncle was open about his past and he told my dad “If you hea...

I love two things when it comes to Dindigul. One is the biriyani (obvious) and the other one is their rock fort. Situated on a hilltop, the Dindigul rock fort was built by the Nayakar kings during the early 1600s. The rock fort offers a beautiful panoramic view of the city. I visited the fort recently on my way to Kodaikanal with my wife. I thought the climb would be easy, but it wasn't. Along the way, we stopped for a few times to catch our breath. As I walked towards the fort, I came across s...

In 1992, my dad was appointed as a manager of a firm that sold medical X-ray films. He had to set up a small office in Pondy, hire people, and start selling X-ray films to hospitals. He hired his friend from previous job as the assistant manager and hired two office boys to run errands, pack orders and deliver them. He also hired an auto-rickshaw driver to deliver the orders.  As I grew up, I got the chance to witness my dad as a manager and one of the things I admired was how my dad interacted...

This is a rant. Today, I bumped into an old man in my apartment who was trying to get into an elevator. He asked me where I lived in the apartment? In less than one minute, he asked me where I work, where my wife works and ended the conversation with "try and have a kid. Work can come later".  That's all. He shut the doors of the elevator and went off to the second floor. I was appalled by his lack of common sense, etiquette, sensitivity. He didn't ask my name. I helped him by opening the ...

We never fully enjoy being happy. Something runs at the back of our minds. A voice alerts us saying "You seem too happy! It's time to prepare for the worst". We immediately start questioning ourselves. How long is this happiness going to last? Do I deserve to be happy? Is this happening because something bad is going to happen later on? What if something happens to me or to those I love? and so on. I don't know about you, but I feel this way whenever I am excited or happy. But, lately, I've ...

It's been over a year. But, I felt the same sense of excitement as I stepped foot on the beach. There were hundreds of people around me - walking, jogging, playing frisbee, taking selfies, and playing ball with the waves. The morning hues reminded me of the time I visited the beach with my mom a couple of years back. For a minute I felt like I was in the past. The sound of the waves, the soothing breeze, and the dull morning hue recreated the past. Sometimes, nature brings back memories - some...

We're programmed to believe our elders. Because that's how our parents were raised. We were asked to blindly believe proverbs and life quotes from unknown people. We follow customs just because someone before seven or eight generations made them on the basis of knowledge, circumstances, and their worldview that existed back then. \No one had questioned them all these years. When you finally do, you're considered a rebel. An outlier. A person who disrespects elders and family customs. My mom ...

When I was in college, I had a lecturer named Raghunathan. He taught us Microbiology and Industrial Biotechnology during the first and second years of my undergraduate degree. If you attend one of his classes, you'll know how much passion he has for Microbiology. I remember the whole class sitting through two hours sessions without complaining. He taught the subject with so much passion and dedication. It in turn made us fall in love with Microbiology. A lot of teachers have taught me during sc...

A few weeks back, I went to my uncle's place and was shocked to see the dirty white console sitting on the TV table. The console for which we've fought tooth and nail to decide who gets the next turn. The console that made us feel like winners. It was still holding its shape after all these years with one functioning joystick and a 999999 in 1 cartridge plugged into it. My cousin walked into the room and said the cartridge I used to play with as a kid - the mighty 76 in 1 cartridge was with him...

Despite everything we did, we couldn't save the fishes from dying. It was one of the hottest summers in Pondicherry. The weather was so hot fishes started dying of heatstroke. Now when I think about it, they could also have died of shame - for living in an ugly fish tank that had a cheap aluminum frame and dull-looking glass panels. Even though I had nothing more than a few guppies, goldfishes, and a few other low-budget fish species, I felt proud to be an 8-year old pet owner. The death of the...

During the mid-90s, renowned Tamil writer Sujata Rangarajan wrote an article talking about how the way we work will change with the advancement of computers and other forms of technology. He said that in a couple of years we can work from home. We can redirect all our office mail to our home letterbox, send and receive emails from our home computers, copy essential files onto a CD or a Floppy drive, and attend important meetings through video conferencing. He even said that everything from sche...

Our world revolves around our family and loved ones. We work hard, make money, plan vacations, buy new stuff to take care of them and make them happy. Despite being surrounded by our loved ones, we have small gaps in our lives the little pockets of void that are filled by the 'other' people. Who are they? They are those whom we come across every day. They are the ones we rely on when we are in a hurry. We don't think about them until we need something. The neighborhood barber, the bank teller...

I once went to a bar near Adyar signal. I walked in with my friends, ordered some beers, and got comfortable. I looked around to see what the place was all about. The place hadn't had a renovation in a long time. It had plain walls, old mirrors, inadequate lighting and some functioning snooker tables. There was faint music in the background trying to add some spirit to the place. When we were drinking, an old uncle walked into the bar with a plastic basket full of vegetables. A waiter came runn...