Note 808

I've thought about this. Writing here is pointless. Nobody reads it! Nobody cares! I'm worthless. I'm pathetic. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad.

I've thought about this. Go fuck yourself.

Note 807

The reason I think it's essential, when it comes to things you care about, that you teach yourself is because whatever you're trying to do - paint a picture, write a book, play some music or design a game - isn't important. What's important is you. You are the artwork. There's never been and never will be again a manifestation of life force like you. You cannot be painted. You cannot be written. You cannot be designed or played. You are just you. Now we have these tools that we've designed, not so that you can use them to imitate others, not so that you can say something grandiose or impressive, but simply so that you can express something of yourself. So take the tools we've made for you, sit with them and play with them, show us how you would use them. That's what's important.

Note 805

You've already decided whether you're good or bad. Now shut up. It's time to play it out.

Note 350

Do you ever have those dreams where you wake up in your bed, get ready for the day, maybe even drive to work, but something just seems off? Then you wake up in your bed again and realize you were dreaming the whole time? So annoying. Why do we have dreams like that?

I have a scary one about a dog where I wake up to the sound of a dog growling at the foot of my bed, it leaps at me and then I wake up the sound of a dog growling at the foot of my bed, etc. [It's a hell hound.]

Anyway, you woke up this morning, got ready for the day, maybe even drove to work. Now let me ask you, does something seem off?

Hahaha. Poor little lamb. You know, I can do this forever because I've already been doing it forever. No matter how woke you think you are, the hound is waiting at the foot of your bed.

Note 718

God is wearing aviators.

Note 802

It is cynical to think people are cynical. It is egotistical to think people are egotistical.

You're dreaming that you're awake.

Exiting the matrix is just another level of the matrix, designed for people arrogant enough to think they can exit the matrix.

Note 264

I want to be a mindfulness instructor.

Today's session is about death. Everybody take a deep breath in.
I want you to imagine that this building is structurally unstable.
And out
Imagine that while I'm talking, the foundation gives way.
And in
Now you're trapped under rubble. Your legs, arms and abdomen are pinned.
And out
The rubble is slowly pushing down on your chest, making every breath harder than the next.
And in
Concentrate on your body. Feel the weight of the rubble as it slowly squeezes the life out of you.
And out
DON'T PANIC! Death is just a part of life and we must all experience it.
And in
You try to scream but nothing comes out as the concrete gets heavier and heavier.
And out
Focus on your breath. After what seems like hours of wheezing, you feel your ribs begin to crack.
And in
You start to cry uncontrollably, making breathing even harder.
And out
The light starts to fade. Your thoughts center on your friends and family. You wish you could see them one last time.
And in
Hold it... hold it...
And out
Okay let's take a break everyone. Help yourself to snacks.

Note 350

Many writers don't understand that the point of it is not to say something clever, it is to get people to listen in the first place. By all means, say something clever after that, but until then nobody will know.

Note 430

If I ever commit suicide my note will say, "You're it!"

I don't know why suicide is such a taboo/macabre subject. I think it's hilarious. Every time I lose an argument I have fantasies about murdering myself and writing "WHO'S RIGHT NOW?" on the wall in my own blood.

Do you have suicidal thoughts? Only when you're awake? Totally normal.

Have you ever been to a GP for depression and they give you those cards that have everything lovingly translated into the first person like, "Sometimes I feel blue," and, "I am a despicable person and deserve to die?" Then they prescribe you SSRI's and say, "They should really put this shit in the water supply."

If you love depression as a topic as much as I do you may enjoy a series called Flowers.

And if you are suffering from depression and experiencing suicidal thoughts, I want you to know that I, for one, won't miss you.

Note 76

I am disillusioned by greatness. It just isn't interesting. It's like a trick with one solution. Why do we idolize it? Not only is it unrelatable but boring, dreadfully boring. What is plain and what is common is much more interesting. People living lives of quiet struggle and unrequited kindness, totally obscure and unrecognized. Things we take for granted. To be a good friend, a good partner, a good parent, a decent and trustworthy person, without any recognition, despite widespread cruelty and pain, requires a much fiercer character and a far greater struggle than to be merely eminent. And if one should come at the cost of the other, as they often do, it is not only commendable to choose the former but actually makes for a more intriguing story.

Note 797

When I was a boy my grandfather bought this crazy remote plot of land and he built a "shack" on it. Said he would go there when he was feeling lonely. When he died of a Marmite related accident in 2013, he left the land to me. This is where I keep my pseudonyms, all real people whom I have kidnapped, guarded by an intricate system of mines and mouse traps. The pseudonyms work there 7 days a week on a diet of blanched hay and egg whites – my grandmother's recipe for quality literature – churning out volumes of what some people have called, "Desperate crap." I then publish and profit from them anonymously.

They [the pseudonyms] do get a half day every second Christmas.

Note 264

Impostor syndrome is just false modesty. If you're successful and don't think you deserve it, you're right and you should pass it on to someone who does, like me.

Note 427

The sad truth about art is that it is a kind of death and quite often a suicide. We think that artists are gifted to see the world a certain special way but this isn't true. Artists are only those foolish enough to share their inner worlds with the rest of us and undergo the inevitable annihilation. They are martyrs of culture.

The majority of us live in completely isolated worlds. This is not due to our inability to reach a consensus or to meet each other on common ground but our unwillingness to do so, borne of the fear that others may be a little too much like us. We would rather pretend that we are something different to what we are and allow others their illusions so long as they allow us ours (athough sometimes we're not so courteous). We relate to each other through our respective facades, denying in others what we cannot come to terms with in ourselves. We complain of loneliness but this is just a bluff; loneliness is a sacred fetish that we will not give up lest we lose our identity. We will not even admit what honesty truly means because, deep down, we recognize it as a weakness, as a fundamental threat to our individual egos. So we choose to live out our lives in this isolation all the while pretending otherwise and feigning a sense of otherness towards our own nature.

Note 792

I think that aliens live among us and just aren't telling us because they're afraid we'll make them see a psychiatrist.

I'm telling you I'm an alien. I'm from another planet. I don't even breathe for god's sake!
YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN BOB! What did the doctor say? What did he say?
No alien talk at the dinner table...
No alien talk at the dinner table! We're trying to help you Bob. We're all trying our best, but we can't help you unless you want to help yourself. Okay?

Note 791

If you think you can't be tricked, you are being tricked.

Note 789

I'm going to create an energy drink called WISDOM, where each flavour is named after a different philosopher and has a blurb briefly explaining their beliefs ~


Kant maintains that understanding of the external world has its foundations not merely in experience, but in both experience and a priori concepts, thus offering a non-empiricist critique of rationalist philosophy. "Act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law." His theory states that an action can only be good if its maxim — the principle behind it — is duty to the moral law, and arises from a sense of duty in the actor.

Brilliant raspberry with a hint of lemon