Just a note to everyone who has been keeping up with me, I will be on holiday, but I haven't quit writing! There's a lot of stuff going on and I am trying to deal with it the best I can, but the road is gonna be very bumpy. ...

I've been binging "The Affair", and I'm seeing so many similarities. (Maybe spoilers, I watched until ep. 5) I can't figure out what I want. One moment, I am talking to my lover and I am feeling really great, happy, thinking I should be with him. But then he gets busy and we don't talk for a long while, and I start doubting myself. Just because once he meant a lot to me, and once he made me feel amazing, doesn't mean he still is that same person now. I tried communicating more with my boyfrien...

I can feel my body getting heavy, my mind getting distracted, clouded, filling with worries. Yesterday was my lover's last holiday. I know he should be back at work now. I told myself I would try to continue focusing on my own things, but I can't help wondering why he isn't sending me a message. I think about the last things I said to him, and I start doubting myself. Maybe I scared him off. Maybe I really lost him this time, because being together was too complicated. I can feel my eyes gettin...

Actually, the situation isn't all that weird. Many are in similar ones, just like me, who will be able to relate. Imagine being in a steady, long-term relationship and suddenly your best friend tells you he has feelings for you. What do you do? Sure, the situation is not exactly the same, but it is never exactly the same. There will be people who can relate. Especially when the relationship is going through a rough patch, we are vulnerable to temptation. If I was the friend, a really good frien...

Alright, I've come to a new realization. I think the reason my lover means more to me than my boyfriend does, is because we started off talking anonymously. Being anonymous has huge advantages too, I could be completely myself, I had no fear of judgement. In the real world, I always kept a part of me hidden, even from my boyfriend, the guy who knew me best. So naturally, as my lover started to get to know me better and better, I felt like he loved me more powerfully, more intensely. He accepted ...

Even though humans naturally prefer being honest and genuine all the time, we often tell little white lies to save ourselves or each other from embarrassment, humiliation or protect us from pain. Is there ever a situation in which lying is better than telling the truth? How many people don't have secrets - none at all? Not a single one? How many people can say they can tell their partner literally everything? I was like that with my boyfriend. I told him everything. He knows almost everything. ...

What do you do, when something so significant happens, it changes the core of who you are? And you are no longer sure of what you want? When I was 15, I got in a relationship with an 18 year old, who - just like everyone else - was a horny teenager and wanted to corrupt my innocence. He was passionate about what he wanted, if he had his mind set on kissing someone, he really was going to. And he succeeded in seducing me - completely. I felt like a princess around him, especially because he seem...