My only messages today: Give yourself time. I know how hard it can be. I struggle with it so much too. But it’s the only thing to do. Change won’t happen overnight. You can do it. Peace out, Emilia ...

Here I am again, with a longer post as promised. Today I want to talk about something I touched upon in a prior post, a concept that is very much integral to this blog. “In order to be there for others, you first have to be there for yourself.” I think this is something we’ve all heard before, maybe even nodded at in agreement. Sure, it seems logical enough. But as many things in life, this is easier said than done. For long years, I’ve had a tendency to view myself as the exception in ma...

I promise these short posts won’t become a thing. I’m just on a birthday, so not much time to write. Still want to keep up the challenge tho. So here’s a list of good things: hyperactive cats mint tea cooking marinated tofu music on repeat giving gifts writing with your partner laughing with strangers garlic bread Good night for now. Peace out, Emilia ...

Not much again from me today. However, I do want to say one thing: The best thing you can do for yourself, your well-being, your happiness, is to create a home. A place (or person) to go back to, that gives you the strength and support you need. I’m not saying it’s impossible to become better alone, I’m just saying it’s a lot harder. And you’re allowed to make your life a bit easier sometimes. Peace out, Emilia ...

This is not my usual kind of post. It might not be as positive, and I think today that’s alright. Today is my father’s death day. I don’t know exactly how many years it commemorates, but it should be around 13 or 14. I didn’t even know until this evening, when my mother texted me about it. In the past, we’ve often gone to my father’s grave on his birthday (and we ate pizza at the cemetery, which was quite cool), but we never really did anything on his death day, so I didn’t know. My fath...

Boundaries are fucking difficult. They are, there’s no way to sugarcoat it. Especially if you grew up a chronic people pleaser, like me. To this day, I derive a major part of my self-confidence from other people’s opinions of me. Or what I perceive as their opinion, anyway. It’s what I’m working on most in therapy. And not being able to set healthy boundaries comes right with that package. It’s simply a survival strategy, because if you don’t have boundaries, you are free to do whatever is...

For now quite precisely a year, I’ve struggled with food and my eating behaviour. It never evolved into a serious eating disorder, I think, but it did screw with my mental health and perception of my body significantly. For a few months, though, I’ve been getting better. Going to the gym has definitely helped, because my food issues mostly stem from dissatisfaction with my body, and now that I’m actively working on it (and beginning to see results!!!), I feel less of a need to starve myself to...

“You gotta find your passion, and you’ll never be bored in your life, when you do what you love.” A quote by a famous philosopher, a celebrity figure maybe? No, I was told this by my tour guide who led us through Dublin today. A nice guy, with a seemingly unending knowledge about the city and Ireland as a country. I wish I could process and save all of the gossip, history facts and inside info I heard, but that would require a lifetime of study. Which is what the tour guide did. Study all of ...

Today, I’m writing from Dublin. Going here — or rather the thought of doing so — has undeniably caused me a lot of anxiety and worry. Would I be able to afford enough food without asking friends or my family for more money? Would I get along with the people on the trip? Would I be bored out of my mind? What today has taught me is that things rarely turn out as bad as your imagination is trying to convince you they will. Everything has worked out great so far, we were at the airport early, the...

Good morning. I’m awake too early, the alarm won’t go off until 7:30AM. Might as well use my time productively. When I was in about 8th grade, I decided I needed a role model. I’d never actively had one, and since everyone else seemed to value them quite a lot, I figured it was my turn to choose. After some consideration, I ended up with Professor Dumbledore. Why, you may ask? Simply because he gave everyone second chances, especially tragic characters, like Snape. To me, that character tr...

Almost missed this one. Fortunately, the reason why I almost did -- and why this will be a short post -- is the same why I'm writing this at all. Sometimes, the good things, the magic moments of your life, they flood the time you thought you had. At least that's what happened to me today. This is not normally a piece of advice I'd give, since I don't think it is generally applicable, but: ROMANTICISE YOUR LIFE! Of course, it's also important to be realistic at times, and yet there is somet...

Have you ever heard of the "Pea-Technique"? I learned it from my therapist. I'm pretty sure she didn't invent it though, so some of you may know it too, perhaps under a different name. In short, it is a technique that is supposed to help you focus on the positives in life, instead of drowning in depressive thoughts. You need: • dried chickpeas or peas or any kind of small, round pebble • two pockets How it works: • in the morning, you put the peas in one of your pockets, that will be your "...

Hello world. This is me, Emilia, and I have never written a blog before. Stories, songs, essays, sure. But this is day 0 of being a blogger. The reason I'm starting this little project is fairly simple: I want to get better. For the last few years, I've struggled with my mental health. A lot. There are things in my life to justify that struggle, I might write about them someday. Therapy has helped immensely, and my boyfriend has supported me in more ways than could ever be expected of anyone, ...