Nida Q Khan • ندا قاسم خان

An aspiring filmmaker, linguist, and a storyteller interested in the human experience and in the interconnectedness of all phenomena and people. Following the #100Days writing challenge since February 11, 2022.

Losing My Lane - Day 101

Such days of pain, laid out so plain
Now I’m feeling like my efforts’ in vain

I don’t wish to feel disdain,
I’m trying to stay super sane

But why’s life so circular that you lose what you gain?

This is too much for my brain,
Someone provide me sugarcane

Cutting back on sugar is like quitting cocaine

I’m clearly out of my lane,
Losing my will and domain

But from hopelessness I will still refrain

The Hundreth Day - Day 100

Standard notes started a challenge,
To write for a 100 days, if you can manage

I took out a pen and set a journal aside
Promised myself that I’d go on this ride

I didn’t know what I’d write,
For a hundred days in sight

But I picked up the pen and wrote anyway,
Each day was new so I took it day by the day

After day 15 I thought I was out of juice,
I couldn’t imagine what more I could produce

But I had to go on, as that was my vow
With a blank mind, had to step into the dao

Had to let go of my limitations,
And all of my many expectations

Expectations from me, and from this routine
What it would lead to, was hella unforeseen

A new way of being, where writing everyday
Let’s you capture the moment a picture a day

A mode of expression to release your pain,
Looking back now, I can see all the gain

A 100 memories of a 100 sides of me,
A 100 ways of being in a 100 day spree

Could I have imagined a collection so vast,
Previously my fate was looking so forecast

Committed to this challenge, I made it last
Now low self esteem looks like a foreign past

Consistency and so much creativity,
I was able to express my individuality

Problems and prospects, ideas and fears,
All of these made the daily list in tiers

Today I’m so proud for making it through,
But I didn’t do it alone as I had my own crew

One Solution - Day 99

I got 99 problems, and one solution
To invest in myself, my own institution

I’ve set the intentions, now it’s time for action
I’ve gotta do it for myself, not for a reaction

So many ideas, but a lack of shape
All of these need some time to bake

I’ve got the ingredients in my grocery bag
But the recipe book proved to be a drag

Now I’ve got materials without instructions
Faith will undoubtedly remove obstructions

The Sakura tree only blossoms for a week
Yet all of Japan wants to bask in her mystique

The time for fruition is beyond our control
All that we can do is to focus on our goal

Let the paths open wide for you,
As you carve out the brand new you

The one that can live with uncertainty,
& keep faith and hope in her vicinity

Love & Truth - Day 98

I picked a card, and out came “Justice”,
It looks hot and heavy just lie a furnace

Biddy Tarot says, “Justice is about the search for truth”,
I say it’s time to tune in and bring back my youth

Intellectualizing made my feel so empty
My brain grew big as my heart sealed entry

No love to be found in the path of fears
Many lies that I told to hold back the tears

It’s truth that has the power to pierce through fear
And the truth is that I also need love and care

Of the wear and tear, I sure got my share
But now I need to be my own grizzly bear

I got tested on faith, as I questioned my path
I feel things harder, just like a pained empath

I needed to be shown the path of surrender
So I could live a life where I’m not afraid of being tender

A life well lived is a life filled with love
I think that’s the essence of the One above

Love is divine and the divine is love in action
So why hold back in fear & feel contraction?

If the world was made from love and light,
Then I’d love to partake and take full delight

In this universe and its endless mysteries
The sunshine that wipes away your miseries,

The rainy days after a heat wave,
The warm fire inside a cold cave

The good food that you can digest,
The abundance of nature at its best

The raw beauty of the ocean and hills
The raw talents in us that can pay our bills

The angst and glee of melancholy
The ever present truth of polarity

Where ends meet is where lovers sit,
Truth is love, and to love we must submit

Niyyat aur Mehnat - Day 97

Meray dost key mutabik success ka hai ek hi formula,
Niyyat + mehnat, aur baaki Khuda pe karna bharosa

Raastay namumkin, phr raaston ka khul jana
Takleefein beshumar, unka himmat mai badal jana

Jo pehlay tha ojhal,
Woh baad mai hoga numayan

Imaan ka rasta hai bojhal,
Lekin banna hai apney aap key hi shaayan

Saaf niyaat ke saath agay barho,
Jawab na hotay huay bhi faisla karo

Phr mehnat ke saath apna jang laro
Kya yehi nahi jihad, inn signs ko parho

Inn dono ko le kar ab yakeen karna seekho,
Anjaam najaantay huay bhi dil ko bol key theek ho

Dil pe haath rakh key, saansein lo gehri,
Apnay nazariay ko badlo, jab tak ho sunehri

Obstacles - Day 96

Too many obstacles as I try to move on,
Trynna solve these issues but I feel so worn

Why do they come when I’m doing better?
Why do new ones show up, should I write them a letter?

I’m sure there’s a sign waiting to be seen,
But it’s shaking me hard, this fight is mean

Is the long fight going to make things worthwhile,
Or are these just distractions that are starting to compile?

How can I keep track, and stay strong still,
How can I progress, even with a strong will?

Either this is the path to brand new ways,
Or else I’m misguided & it’s another phase

I don’t know much, and I tend to know less
The more that I ask, I feel like it’s a big mess

Yet all of these are just wanting to be seen,
Should I pay them all attention and let them intervene?

Full Moon - Day 95

The moon’s full today, in Scorpio they say
It’s a lunar eclipse with energies to stay

My cycle’s aligned with the moon cycle
This time in nature has been real vital

Life’s not about just pure survival
Writing down memories, I’m archival

Manifest powers now at a peak level
Energetic shifts fighting off the devil

The moon light over dark skies,
Lighting up the path of the wise

This mystical time calls for inner work,
A solid time to regain your inner worth

So write down the patterns of the past,
Time to draw out your vision at last

Ignite 515 - Day 94

It’s May 15th, the moon’s about to eclipse
Inside a new life, we’re about to get a glimpse

5+1+5 is eleven and it’s 2022,
So 11-22 is the day that you knew you

You know who, it’s the one inside you
The one that hid away, but now she’s anew

She went to school, but it aged her soul
She went through life, with a gaping hole

Changes upon changes, and then stagnation
This life’s a strange trip, always on rotation

Cyclical, my life’s a pendulum
My dreams take me back to Jerusalem

Intuition guides me in dreams at night,
The stories that I’ve seen, I’ve gotta write

An opening is close, that’s for sure
New ideas now coming from the core

It’s another time to give up the fight,
Chase away the demons, it’s time to ignite

Apna Afsana - Day 93

Mera kaam hai deep,
Learning curve bhi steep

Karoon mai saath upkeep
Chaloun mai apni jeep

Ab lena hai ek leap,
Ek imaan ka leap

Chorna hai peechay defeat
Agay barhna hai, not retreat

Log mashwaray detay hain ek hazaar,
Lekin ye rasta hai mera, samajh jao ek baar

Baat be baat, aur doubts ka bahaar
Doubts chor ke ab nahi rehna lachaar

Pehnna hai mujhe naya fashion
Jo ho without such distraction

Gehrai mai jaana hai, nahi rehna ab shallow
Social media walon ko mera salaam, hello

Kya feed pe feed dikha ke milegi satisfaction?
Mujhe toh lagta hai ke it just leads to a lack of action

Dimagh bhi farigh, ab surface pe hi rehta
Phone ke saath so ke uthta hai, woh kehta

Kehta hai sach, yehi hai hakeekat
Phone mai masroof, kahan gayi life ki lazzat?

Apni kahani pe ghor karney key bajaye
Amir Liaquat ki kahani pe karna hai huu haye

Jeena hai toh sachay dil ke saath
Saaf imaan aur umeed le ke saath

Negativity se door hai ab jaana mujhe
Kyunke likhna hai apna afsana mujhe

Nature Heals - Day 92

I’m reading into bliss,
As the sun rays give a kiss,
This time I would not miss,
Nature can make you feel like this:

More focused, heart rested
Breath smooth, feeling collected

Butterflies all around, it’s a busy time
Birds flying, their sounds’ a natural chime

I pull out my camera,
Try to capture the flora

It’s a nature inclination,
To feel all this inspiration

Drained out in the city,
My mind went cold
Back in the woods,
Now I’m feeling consoled

Can this go on forever?
I wanna stay in nature’s embrace till September

September is the time,
For all my efforts to shine

I’ll put in the hard work this summer
My life’s the guitar & I’m the strummer

I’m hoping to follow the path of the yogi,
& become one with the lord like a jogi

Is Content Creation Worth It? - Day 91

This question has been on my mind constantly, along with the question of whether one can live a good life without much technology/have a work life that doesn’t make you a slave to your devices. Such paths exist, I’m sure, but I also believe that they are slowly being replaced by tech. Isn’t everything? Doesn’t it appear to be the case that the world is just going towards artificial intelligence, virtual realities and everything else that promotes the disembodiment of human beings, encouraging us to place all our hope and investment into these technologies, rendering us almost useless?

There is much debate on both sides but even if I don’t look into possible futures, I can clearly see the reality around me now, and it’s not far from a kind of technological slavery. It is very disempowering to see this phenomenon take place, and see it engulfing your loved ones, see yourself being taken by it, and not have any clue as to how to hit the brakes on it. It seems to be spreading like wildfire and no one appears to be putting any limits on it. But it can’t be allowed to dominate our lives, that’s a kind of authoritarianism beyond our ancestor’s wildest imagination. This is my fear, my concern and my roadblock to proceeding further in life. There, now it’s out in the open.

Now I’ll get into my concerns about content creation:

1) Seems redundant: it feels like I’ll just be another name on the internet, fighting for people’s attention.

2) Seems excessive: it feels like no one will watch or read my created content because there are so many other options out there, and way too much distraction to even complete watching/reading anything I put out.

But then I think, isn’t that just business? At the same time, I don’t just what to create blogs for others, or publish content on the web because I don’t see the value in publishing on the net, as it will reach people in a distracted way. I want to do something real, for example,

  • Start a service that helps with social change,
  • Helo people become in touch with their body and breath,
  • Enable better public facilities such as pedestrian crossings,
  • Help people work fewer hours and have a better lifestyle,
  • Create an impactful film, a piece of art or a book that would showcase Pakistan on an international scale, and bring in funding.
  • Help people get off social media and engage in deep work,
  • Get Pakistani youth to learn more about Urdu literature and the depth of their culture.

So the key themes I want to work on are:
• Creative
• Social
• Public Service
• Deep Work
• Storytelling + Film
• Writing
• Language & Literature
• Culture
• Lifestyle
• Mind-body connection
• Representation

The Garden - Day 90

I tried to light a fire,
To wood that was wet,
I tried to spark desire,
In a heart that felt regret

It’s seldom that we allow,
The feelings to arise,
We try to plough and plough,
But the garden has a surprise

When we turn to misery,
Our minds are brought to waste
But nature is a treasury,
It can restore our rotten state

So fretting is forbidden
In the garden of the sages
Therein many secrets lay hidden
That are revealed to us in stages

Heaven plays with us,
A game of hide and seek,
Seek we must, and hide she does,
Until we reach our peak

The doors of the unconscious open,
As the mind and heart rejoice
Love is offered to the heartbroken,
And a space to raise our voice

This is the time you waited for,
The time has come at last,
Many days spent feeling sore,
But no more a mere outcast

About Today - Day 89

I hear kawals singing outside,
As cold winds blow through the door inside
Tonight I feel like I’ve got nothing to hide
It’s time I stop taking things in a stride

Today I learnt about 8 stages of yoga,
The posture of a mindful cobra,
Breath-work that takes you beyond your mental quota,
And meditation that’s stronger than coca

There’s so much to learn,
There’s so much I yearn,
Everyday I want to take a different turn,
For I do not want to be an ordinary fern

Rebirth - Day 88

I feel like what I need is more than just greed,
It’s the necessity of my soul, to live a life freed

It may sound like a luxury, to suffering souls in the city,
But my humble abode is a indeed a state of tranquility

That wanting to be in trees and hills, is now a paid vacation
It makes you plan your 2 weeks off from your damn vocation

The soul’s desires left to rot in modern adaptation
For mind and body cease to rest under constant infiltration

Of news and feeds, & unhealthy lives, deemed to be the norm

While diseases and mental problems change the human form

The modern man & modern woman, must retreat to the Mother Earth
For pacha mama knows what’s best, and she can bring rebirth

A New Leaf - Day 87

I saw a memory of me,
That took a shape in me
It wasn’t pleasant to see,
But it needed me to see

That I am not the same,
That life has changed my game,
Dishonor isn’t in my frame
& I’m more than my name

The echoes from the past,
Thought that they would last,
But now they’ve turned overcast
Have I been freed of them, at last?

But they came back to haunt me,
Possessed my soul to taunt me,
I guess they really still want me
Or else they wouldn’t daunt me

That distant voice wanted to be heard
It couldn’t see how I’d rise as a bird

It found my growth & progress absurd
It didn’t care to have with me a word

But as I felt it leave,
I just couldn’t believe,
The contrast I felt, I felt such relief, that
I’m no longer that voice, I’m turning a new leaf

Light - Day 86

They don’t see my light,
All the healing in sight,
Trying to follow what’s right,
But the pathway’s been tight

I don’t wanna live in remorse,
Thinking that I went off course,
That I strayed from the source,
& was unable to use my force

The light inside doesn’t dim,
Even when things look grim
It’s now time to hit the gym
& follow it up with a swim

So that the energy returns,
Wash away the old burns
Keep at bay all the concerns
Because it’s time she returns