Uplink

@uplink

The less you know about me the more I reveal. #100days

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2019-06-09 Sunday footy kickabout and lazy afternoon

Today it starts. What starts? A new day. A new way to look at life. Plus the bloody sun is shining, summer has returned, fecking yes! Absolutely love it. Charged my fitbit after a two weeks of not using it. Gonna get back into THIS! I'll be starting a bit of a health kick today and a fitness blog. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I keep logging my fitbit activities, but they just disappear into nowhere, I never look back, never do anything with the data. That changes today onwards. I'm keeping a fitness journal.

Holy smokes, summer is back 🏄☀🤪👍 yaaaaaaasssssss

Football - Decent little kick about. First bit of proper cardio for a couple of weeks. The rest did me good. Pretty hot, but I love the sun!


Back home, showered and waiting for C for lunch.


C Home, she looked pretty knackered. I'm not sure the wedding went all that well, but time will tell. At least she has the images and the Asian wedding thing done. Bella was pretty please to see her or what. Major tail wag. Watched England play Switzerland. Score - 0-0 on regular time and extra time. England win on penalties with an amazing show from Jordan Pickford. Scored one and saved one.

Went to the shop. Then home for a walk with Bella. A nice little walk with Bella at Fleet Pond. She found her way into the brook. Still a bit worried about her running off, Saw a nice little feather. Looks like some sort of crow.

Watched a bit of the Portugal game, then fell asleep at halftime. Up to bed early. Too many beers this weekend. Will need to knock that on the head. It's time to get healthy and really max life out again.

2019-06-08 Saturday at home with the dog.

My "A" key is wearing off my MacBook Pro. It's because I use my nail to hit the A key. annoying, but I've noticed it on other keyboards I've used. I must type weirdly.

0500 - for some reason I was awake super early. I need to clean the bed of henna tattoo stuff. It's been there since C left for the night. 0800 up and about proper and typing away again. I'm still unsure about where and how to journal haha. I'm currently hedging my bets and also posting this to a private blog. It's a simple copy and paste job. Type once, then syndicate it to Blogger, and Uplink. I also have separate files and one massive file. I can't make my mind up on how best to store all these thousands of words. I'm still worried about the non-anonymous nature of the interwebs, but I should either put up or shut up.

The weather is still shite today. Looks a bit drier than yesterday, but still not good. I'm enjoying my morning coffee though. Feels different on a weekend, when I know the twats in the US won't wake up and start hassling me with useless questions and tasks. Sod that, why am I even writing about work - /work. So I'm in a brilliant mood today. Listening to a bit of deep house, here with my coffee. I've read a bit of my book. Woken up feeling fresh and alive. I don't really have any plans for today and that's a good thing. I'll eat a bit of breakie and take the dog for a nice long walk I think. Maybe over at Bramshot. I'll have to try and avoid the rain showers.

I'm powering through my latest book - How to be a footballer. Talk about an easy read. Full of quite fun anecdotes.

I need to slim down my podcasts. I've not been using my podcast app recently mainly because I'm overwhelmed with the amount of podcasts I've subscribed to. Looks like I have over 3000 episodes unplayed. Not like I am trying to keep up with all of them. But the reason I don't listen to any is I can't be arsed to wade through all the crap. So sorted out and got rid of all the millions of photography podcasts. Subscribed to a couple more

  • Chernobyl by HBO
  • 13 Minutes to the Moon by BBC

I'll try and get back into podcasts if I can. I think they are absolutely brilliant. Not as good as books for sure, but they can really help you multi-task and learn at the same time as doing something else.

Here's what I learned from a couple of podcasts today:

  • Time travel forwards might be possible if we can travel fast enough
  • Time travel backwards is probably physically impossible unless we can create negative matter
  • Facial recognition is banned in SF
  • Sweden hold implant parties to put NFC chips in their bodies (freaks!)
  • In the future we'll have implants the size of a grain of rice that will just serve us music.

The future is a scary place


So for the rest of the day, I mainly tidied the house listening to podcasts. That kind of makes me happy. I learned quite a bit and was productive at the same time. Also had to bring the chilis indoors as they are getting eaten by slugs. Tomatoes are doing ok.

2019-06-07 2019-06-07 Caroline goes to wedding - Working at home with the dog

Up early today 0730 and I'm typing away. I updated my blogger profile:

Born and live in England. I've always been a writer and photographer. In early 2019 I decided to put it all in blogspot. I hope they don't kill the platform. I write about everything that is on my mind. It's got to be better here than in my head or a bit of dross on Twitter.

I'm not sure I'm even gonna use blogger anymore. I just may self host some text files. That always seems a bit easier.

It's absolutely pissing it down today. Horrible weather, even Bella doesn't really want to go outside. I don't blame her. When are we gonna get some nice weather? Just plain horrid this rain. Considering I was in baking Spanish sunshine earlier this week. It's a total washout.

C has her Indian wedding today. Fortunately It's all inside, but it has been raining solid for several hours. Bella just sleeping like a baby.

On this listed thing again. I'm running into a problem. Firstly I'm having to censor myself. Clearly nothing on the web is truly anonymous. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to track me down. I'm feeling like I should open up more in a journal. That's on of the great benefits. Here lies the rub, I'm kinda keeping two journals. Or maybe even three.

  1. The public one I'm posting to listed
  2. The actual narrative in my head that I'm having to censor
  3. A separate set of encrypted notes

This is not good. And I'm torn. Do I just keep two journals? One public and one Private? Do I open up a bit more here on this blog? What's the point then in having a public journal? It's all very confusing. In typing this, I think I'll just have two journals for now and see how it goes. I'm enjoying the semi-private nature of Listed right now so may well continue.

Also, I was looking for a way to nuke my account if I needed to. Seems I can only delete a post at a time, so if I thought listed had become a bit too much, I'd have to delete hundreds of posts. Seems to me that self-hosting might be a better way forwards. Just selfhost a plain text file. Or I might just go back to written journals. I kinda liked those. Anyways I'm just a bit confused on what I'm trying to achieve here.


Anyway I feel absolutely knackered today. I think the shite weather does this. I don't feel at all motivated and just want to sleep like Bella. We went for a walk when the rain stopped for a bit. Really muddy out, but warm in the sunshine. Back home to finish up work and a few calls. Rounded off with a Thai Green curry and sat down for a few beers and a book. Crazy cold, actually had to put the fire on it was so chilly. That meant I promptly fell asleep until 2200. Woke up to missed calls and texts. Phoned the wife, she'd had a good day, all went smoothly, not too much work to do. Opened a few more beers and read some more of my book. Pretty cool so far - Peter Crouch, How to Be a Footballer. Will finish this this weekend without a doubt. Also downloaded Metro 2033. I fancy reading a bit more good fiction. Especially after- Kiss me Judas, which was a trippy book, very readable, but didn't;'t make much sense. I still don't get the ending.

2019-06-06 Thoughts on Maslow again, Mehendi Night

0740 up with a coffee and writing. This is almost becoming a ritual. I'm sure it's one of my old buddies birthdays today, I can't remember who. I'm a bit rubbish like that.
I changed the blog text font to Courier. I don't know why I like to write in this font so much, I just do. It's not a readable as other non-monospace fonts, but I just like it.

Maslow's Heierarchy of Needs

I've been thinking a bit this morning as I've woken up about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and where I am on the pyramid. I've definitely got the basics covered.

  • Physiological needs
  • Safety needs

Totally nailed if I'm honest. I can eat and sleep, I'm warm and I feel safe.
The next three I think is where I can work on:

  • Social belonging
  • Self-esteem
  • Self-actualization

I don't know exactly how I would work on them or what I need to do to get to self-actualization. It's worth me pondering these over the next few days and weeks. Maybe then I can draw some conclusions on how to improve my life.

Social Belonging : According to Maslow, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among social groups, regardless of whether these groups are large or small.

I guess I do have that covered. I also guess that social media covered that for me a lot in the past. I used to be a social media fiend. I would post multiple times a day to Instagram stories. Sharing all sorts of mundane stuff, then check the views. What was the point in that. "Oh wow, my life is so amazing look at me" Fuck that, those days are over. I'm actually becoming more insular I rekon. I'm actually starting to care less about the wider world. I care less about social belonging on social media. I care less about Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Flickr. I really don't feel the need to share much more beyond this little blog here. But it's good to share and I'm relishing a bit of anonymity. Being online and in the spotlight of the world suddenly feels a bit creepy to me.

So how am I going to improve this area of my life? What practical things can I do to feel a belonging? Firstly I think it needs to start with my wife. She's the single most important person in my life, so if I start anywhere it should be there. Maybe I'll start a bit of a gratitude journal or something that will just improve how I think of our relationship. Maybe I'll come up with new ideas on how to improve this area of my life going forwards.


1045 Decided to get back into Blogger. Will use this a bit of a journal too. Posting to both Standard Notes and Blogger. I never stick at any one system for long so It's no surprise that I now might move to a different platform.


Mehndi

C and I went to Mehndi night at the Watford Hilton. It was a real blast. Left home at 6.30. Dropped Bella off at Emma's. She was in the garden and didn't hear the doorbell at first. We left the party around 10pm to pick Bella back up.

We met the printer a chap called Raj from Leicester. He is sun is something to do with the GSMA forum and Mobile World Congress. He is also part of "Case for Change". Really nice bloke, but talked a lot!

The groom did a first song of you'll never walk alone, which was a big cringe, but what else could he sing to be fair.

2019-06-06

0740 up with a coffee and writing. This is almost becoming a ritual. I'm sure it's one of my old buddies birthdays today, I can't remember who. I'm a bit rubbish like that.
I changed the blog text font to Courier. I don't know why I like to write in this font so much, I just do. It's not a readable as other non-monospace fonts, but I just like it.

Maslow's Heierarchy of Needs

I've been thinking a bit this morning as I've woken up about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and where I am on the pyramid. I've definitely got the basics covered.
Physiological needs
Safety needs
Totally nailed if I'm honest. I can eat and sleep, I'm warm and I feel safe.
The next three I think is where I can work on:
Social belonging
Self-esteem
Self-actualization
I don't know exactly how I would work on them or what I need to do to get to self-actualization. It's worth me pondering these over the next few days and weeks. Maybe then I can draw some conclusions on how to improve my life.
Social Belonging : According to Maslow, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among social groups, regardless of whether these groups are large or small.
I guess I do have that covered. I also guess that social media covered that for me a lot in the past. I used to be a social media fiend. I would post multiple times a day to Instagram stories. Sharing all sorts of mundane stuff, then check the views. What was the point in that. "Oh wow, my life is so amazing look at me" Fuck that, those days are over. I'm actually becoming more insular I rekon. I'm actually starting to care less about the wider world. I care less about social belonging on social media. I care less about Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Flickr. I really don't feel the need to share much more beyond this little blog here. But it's good to share and I'm relishing a bit of anonymity. Being online and in the spotlight of the world suddenly feels a bit creepy to me.
So how am I going to improve this area of my life? What practical things can I do to feel a belonging? Firstly I think it needs to start with my wife. She's the single most important person in my life, so if I start anywhere it should be there. Maybe I'll start a bit of a gratitude journal or something that will just improve how I think of our relationship. Maybe I'll come up with new ideas on how to improve this area of my life going forwards.


1045 Decided to get back into Blogger. Will use this a bit of a journal too. Posting to both Standard Notes and Blogger. I never stick at any one system for long so It's no surprise that I now might move to a different platform.


Mehndi

C and I went to Mehndi night at the Watford Hilton. It was a real blast. Left home at 6.30. Dropped Bella off at Emma's. She was in the garden and didn't hear the doorbell at first. We left the party around 10pm to pick Bella back up.

We met the printer a chap called Raj from Leicester. He is sun is something to do with the GSMA forum and Mobile World Congress. He is also part of "Case for Change". Really nice bloke, but talked a lot!

The groom did a first song of you'll never walk alone, which was a big cringe, but what else could he sing to be fair.

2019-06-05 Back on the grind

0300 woke briefly and wondered where I was. Hot and flustered. Had slept deeply though. I'd had another weird dream but I don't recall it. I'm gonna try and note more of my dreams down. They have to be quite interesting to analyse.

0630 awake again for good. The sun is shinning and it looks like it will be a stunning day. I slept like a log. Refreshed and feeling ready to take on the day. I need to be ready, it's a full on day. Got an award submission to write for work, deadline tomorrow. I'm not a professional copy writer and I know nothing about the solution we are providing. I'll give it a good go though. 0750 Breakfast. Walked Bella for a bit, but then a call from PC, had to cut the walk short and get back to work. Not too bad I suppose, was only at my desk


1630 Wow it's been a busy day. Haven't really stopped work wise except for a little spot of lunch and a bit of a run with Bella. My first run with her. Only a little one. 2.35 KM in 16:23. Wow, how slow is that? Well out of shape lol.

Not really enjoying being back at work, but I guess that's understandable. A bit of a waste of time, too many internal politics. Let's face it most of us wouldn't work if we didn't have to. I kind of enjoy a bit of satisfaction from what I do, but a load of people seem to really love what they do, it must be nice. I've been lucky enough to make my trade in the tech industry. Well paid and in demand. Luck more than judgement got me here, not complaining, it's a great place to be, I should really stop being so ungrateful. Maybe I'm suffering from a midlife crisis, having reflected on my past few days in Spain, maybe that's the the problem. As I realise my life is wasting away working for some massive faceless conglomerate seems like a bit of a waste of a life. Maybe I should volunteer or do something worthwhile outside of work. Maybe it's because I don't have kids and have missed that calling for now.

C is out tonight so I'll stay in and watch the football. She's meeting her international lot. She usually has a blast with them, but not feeling it tonight apparently. Just realised England are playing tomorrow night and I've agreed to go out with C to this wedding Mendhi thing. Talk about annoying. Never mind, I've got to go and support her where I can I guess. We really need a plan to have her give up work. Also, now getting a quote for the next rounds of IVF, gonna try and find a cheaper supplier than the one we've got. Oh well I'll just go with the flow. This thing is going to drag on into 2020 there is no doubt about it.

So rounding off the day I had a few beers, changed the bed sheets. Climbed in, read a book and waited for C to come home. Sleep is good.

2019-06-04 Travel home from Spain

0515 the alarm goes off, but I've barely slept. Perhaps I managed to snatch one hour of solid sleep. Having an Irish coffee midnight was not a great idea. I had planned to just jump in the car and go, but was a bit sweaty overnight, showered and C packed the rest of the luggage. Out of there and into the hire car around 5.50am. A pretty easy drive in all, the roads were almost totally clear untill we got to Alicante. Then we had a quick circle of the airport to find fuel for the hire car. Filled the little Fiat up with 20 euros of fuel and another 10 minutes back to the airport. Arrived about 7.10am. The guy inspected the car and all was alright. That's good, there was a small scrape on the car when we collected it. I took a photo and was worried about it, but the guy barely checked.

7.22 at the Ryanair check-in desk it was pretty rammed and of course I started to worry about not making the flight. Was fine though, checked in at around 8am. The bag was exactly 20.0 kg. We took some shoes out just before l, but amazed it was bang on.

Through security and time to grab a bit of breakfast. Coffee & Baggette for me. Orange, yoghurt and pastry for C. Much needed as hadn't eaten anything before a 1+ hour drive. Boarded the plane pretty much last ones on. Seats on each side of the aisle. No way worth paying another £17 to sit in the middle for a 2 hour flight.

Man I hate flights and flying. To say I'm nervous is absolutely bang on. I'm not sure why I'm so scared, I've done this at least 100+ times. I don't find it gets any easier and I'm convinced every time I fly that we are going to crash. I guess if this gets posted to listed it means I survived another flight, but not without a certain amount of anexiety. I've got at least one long flight coming up, I really need to learn how to enjoy them.

Big time looking forward to seeing Bella again, she's a little cutie and just hope she remembers us. It's been a week without her, so I'm hoping she forgives us for leaving her.


Landed on time, actually slightly early, around 1010am. Was a pretty good flight all in all except another hungover Liverpool fan that was spreading himself all over the seats and making loads of noise. Got back to the in-laws ok. Said hello to Bella, she seemed really pleased to see us, but it's clear she's made some new friends. She was just as happy with P and S as with us. I had a bit of a kip as absolutely knackered from the journey. C had a call with her clients and 1400 we then left for home around 1530. Back at home and straight back into work. What a pain in the arse. Again, a short turnaround for something that wasn't even planned. There goes the holiday in a puff of smoke, straight back into work. Holiday a distant memory.


1800 back at home and fish and chips for supper. Well tasty and shared a chips instead of making the classic mistake of ordering two (over ordering). It's nice to be back in the house, but this house is bloody freezing. Need to get some cavity wall insulation or something. It's almost heating on cold. It's May for fecks sake.

I think Bella is either sulking or just tired. She's asleep and doesn't seem to like me too much. Maybe it was because we abandoned her with the in-laws. If I got abandoned at the in-laws I'd be sulking too. Gonna have to get to bed early tonight. Now back in the UK with the time difference been up since 0415am. Plus having not slept at all last night, I'm totally knackered.


In the news; learned that the Woodford fund is in trouble. I'm not invested, but shows how sentiment can turn pretty quickly. Was the golden balls of investment around 30 years ago.

Also, Trump in the UK. I'm not a fan, but he is what he is. Think all the protests are over the top and Corbyn is just being his usual wanker self, trying to appeal to the cool student socialist liberals. Should have just been diplomatic and met with Trump. That's the point of being a master statesmen. There are going to be loads of people that he doesn't like but would need to meet if he ever became Prime Minister. Stop acting like a pretentious shit and meet Trump, who happens to be leader of the world's biggest superpower.

2019-06-03 Last day in Xavier, meal out, tired

Finished reading Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop

Terrible book, that didn't provide anything insightful to my life. Full of random bit of advice that aren't at all meaningful. Poorly structured so it just feels like a series of random motivational quotes. Maybe this is what people are after these days in a book. It's easy to consume, felt like I was reading an instagram story. At least it was short and over pretty quickly.

I should really have given up as life is too short for rubbish books, oh well.


On today, it's my last day in Spain so up and in the sun early - 0830. Cleared up all the empties from last night and getting a bit of writing done. Still enjoying the 100 day challenge. C is well stressed out over these weddings she's planning, seems to be getting worked up over it all. She needs to chill out, supposedly a dream job.

Here's a few thoughts for me today.

Tomorrow is a mystery

This is a pretty cool philosophy.

I wake up most mornings feeling emotions. These emotions can vary. Usually they are those of excitement and joy. It's a new day with loads of opportunities. These emotions then fade during the morning as I run into the mundane. Work, or just existing. What if I could bottle that joy I feel when I wake up and keep sipping at it all day long. That's my plan for June. Wake up tomorrow and every day through the month and stay motivated, productive and joyous. I'll try and use this journal to keep me motivated on that path. So for today, despite being mildly hungover, I'm going to live for the day. I'm here with my morning tea, typing away with a feeling of zen. Life is what we make of it. After all we are all going to die, so why not live today. Easy to say difficult to do.

We are what we do, not what we say we will do


Today I'm going to finish a book and start another. I set out to read more books at the start when I deleted Instagram. So far so good. Damn I don't miss that app at all, frankly what a time zap that was. Even posting took too much effort. A great book is awesome. I just need to find more great books. Speaking of which, I'm off to the lounger to read.


1900 we went to the port for dinner. Was quite a nice meal, but very small portions. I was incredibly sleepy. A bit anti social really on the last night. Then we all went for a night cap at a bar. This was about 2345. Stupidly I had an Irish coffee. So that will keep me a ay for sure. The alarm is set for 0515 so an early start without much sleep. Was a really nice trip away and there were a few nice speeches at the end. Really top bunch of guys. Will be glad to get home though.

2019-06-02 Villa lounging in the sun- couple of goals - Paella night

0900 up and about. I had a weird dream that I was commuting in a ryanair flight to a small little island, with AJ and Danny, who had forgotten their laptop passwords, but I were going to be able to restore an image. Was a bit of a weird one. Quite vivid from what I recall.

Anyway up and about getting some of those valuable sunshine rays. Really not good for the skin I know, but I'm on factor 30 and not really got burnt. Still gonna age me somewhat, sun, booze and too much food. That's what holidays are for. They are also for reflecting on things and resetting. Maybe some goals. Here's some thoughts.

  • Run more. This is always on my list, I've been neglecting this since the winter. Last year I did pretty well on getting at least one in a week. I even ran whilst on a work conference. Crazy days! Let's get back on it.

  • Lose the 1 stone I need to get me to a really lean and dare I say ripped weight. That will just do me nice. A bit of a trimmer belly and a bit of weight off my face.

  • Bike just get out and ride, I love the freedom and solitude of that. If it's dry just go for a little ride. Have to love it.

Actually, just generally focus on health a bit more. A bit whacky but I need to do a bit of yoga. As my joints always ache after footy or any other exercise. I'm a pretty fit guy on the whole, but I need to exercise at least twice a week. That for me is essential. I need to figure out how to use this Standard Notes or listed thingy to try and track my goals and keep me motivated. I'm in this app every day, mind you I'm in Trello too. Maybe between the two, I can capture these goals and stay accountable. Maybe I'll set the goals on Sunday or report on my week on a Sunday. Also, I'm just journaling the stuff I do at the moment. I'm not really writing my thoughts on a specific subject. I want to get back into that for sure.


So the rest of the day was basically a lounger day. Enjoying the sunshine, book and beer. Was quite a relaxing day. Nearly finished my book, but not quite. The guys went off to play golf, so I was left in the villa with the girls. The baby was pretty noisy but she dropped off to sleep in the end. 1815 I started cooking a Paella for 10 people. Was a pretty mammoth task to be fair. But I pulled it off well. C decorated it with the seafood and I have to say it looked awesome. I probably would have added a bit more spice, but not everyone likes chilli so I kept it pretty tame.

A far few beers over the day, red wine with dinner and all wrapped off with a brandy. Sore head tomorrow for sure.

2019-06-01 Beach and Champions league final

0915 up and about. Another slightly sore head, but nothing crazy. Heading to the supermarket at 10am shopping list:

Beer
Water
Crisps
Tonic
Bread / Rolls
Cold meat
Milk
Paella stuff for 10 people

All came to 86 euros. Not bad. Wanna live out here for sure, cheap as and great weather.


1130 went to the beach. Rented some sun loungers for 6 euros each. Was pretty windy, noisy and hot, but nice beach. We kinda put our loungers away from the others. Paul an Alla turned up later, we then went for lunch. Had a few tapas, and a beer and rose wine. 32 Euros, not bad value I guess. Back to the loungers and fell asleep. Read a book for a bit. Getting pretty board of Head Hunters It's really starting to drag. Might be one that I need to grind out. Started reading Dreamseller alongside. A story of a skateboarder who could have had it all, but instead turned to drugs.


1600 C went off to do a bit of shopping and came back around 1700 with a couple of beers for me and Paul. That was a nice touch. It was roasting on the beach so nice to have a cold one. Drove back to the villa after that and decided that we would get a taxi into town so had a few more drinks while everyone was getting ready. J went proper glam despite telling everyone it was casual. I predicted this weeks ago, so it's no surprise. We went to a nice little restaurant to watch the champions league final. Liverpool vs Spurs.

The game was proper dull. A penalty in the first minute to Liverpool, then nothing much for the next 80 minutes. Then Liverpool scored again and that was that. A pretty boring game, but I guess not if you are a Liverpool fan. I ate a steak and C had Calimari. It was OK I suppose. Bill with Drinks 60E per person with tip, so not too bad.

After this the fun and games really started. J decided to take us off dancing, but not dancing. We went to a really chilled out restaurant and all sat in a row. The music was crap and there was no atmosphere. C and A were getting a bit annoyed with it all as they came out to have a party too. The baby was clearly the number one priority, which I get, but C was making the point that in days earlier, J had said don't let me get like that. I guess people change when the bambini arrives. So anyway we finished one drink and decide to part ways. Me, C, P, A to head to a club and everyone else to go back to the villa. Probably for the best. So we first started off in this little cuban place with Latin dancing. Was ok, and stayed for a drink. Then C wasn't happy as she wanted something to sing along to. So we checked out the club upstairs. What a super choice, cool music, little dancefloor, stage with dancers and 4 euro mojitos. Can't go wrong with that. So we stayed and danced until around 3.15am. Eventually getting pretty tired and getting a taxi home. Stayed up for a little bit of fun and then a groggy sleep entailed. Fun night!

2019-05-31 Hanging around the villa - thoughts on travel and owning stuff, Xavier, Spain

0830 Up and about. A bit groggy, but not too mad. Must have called it a night at around midnight and got a decent night sleep. C cooked eggs for everyone for breakfast and a few coffees later and felt right as rain. The weather is truly beautiful. The villa is great, but there's work next door. Doing the pool area so drilling and cutting all week which puts a bit of a downer on things. Think we got about 300 Euros back as a gesture from the owner. Can't really make up for the place not being as relaxed though. Never mind.


1300 - A few beers by the pool, reflecting on life. I totally love holidays and traveling light. Just having a few belongings and a few gadgets. I feel like the world is my oyster. I've seriously got to think about what I'm doing with things where I'm just wasting my life away at home. There is so much to see and experience. It's always been a dream of mine to cycle around the world, one day I've got to make that happen. Just take a year out and do it. I've got the cash now where If I lived fugally, I could probably travel on my bike non-stop for the rest of my life. Wouldn't be much of a sociable life, plus I now have a wife and responsibilities it's not really feasible. Still, travel even short holidays to Spain make me realise just how little I need. A pair of shorts, flip flops, a few T-shirts, Jumper, MacBook, Camera, Phone, GoPro, Credit Card, Passport. That's it. That's all I need to have the huge adventure that is life. I miss those days when I travelled through Australia for 3 months. No internet, just a cassette player. That was the life. Ofcom have just released a study that shows Brits spend 50 days year online. What a waste of life. Much preferred it back in the day when I wasn't constantly connected to the Matrix. This is always a theme of my life and certainly when I travel. I really need to take that philosophy home. Do what makes you happy. I need to clear out a load of shit I have at home. I've collected way too many belongings in the 39 years I've been on the planet. I really need to have a bloody good sort out. I also don't need any new stuff. No new gadgets, no more Amazon. I'm pretty good at mot buying stuff to be fair.

On the stuff business, I've even brought too much gear out here. I really don't need half the stuff I have. I brought way too many clothes. I guess when dressing to impress you have to wear a different outfit every night for 7 nights. Pointless, but that's the way society is. I've always been a bit different, I hate designer labels. They actually look stupid to me. If I see someone wearing a Hugo Boss polo, I just think what a wanker. That's just the way I'm wired I/m afraid. I think maybe people think I'm a bit of scrooge, but what's the point of spending 300x more on a polo shirt that's been made in the same sweatshop in Vietnam because It's got some label on it. I should really take that list of things I need in life, and just work with those for the rest of my days.

The other thing that's been cool is I've been relying on one plug point. That's cool because it makes you think about what device to charge when you can only charge one at a time. I'm also trickle charging my MacBook, so that means I have to limit how long I can use it for. This is nice as thinking about power as a finite resource across all my devices means I don't waste time on any. I use them as a utility. Then shut them down. This is a really cool philosophy I need to adapt at home.

Anyway, time for more beer, sunshine and book. Reading Head Hunters now, decent book, but I need to nail it as I want to get on with the next one.

Still loving this daily writing, even more so when on holiday. Write, walk, drink, read. Life is sweet.


1530-1730 Walked out to Cap Prim with Ethan. Was a fairly hard walk. A good old climb up, the roads, then off road for a bit. The veiws were spectacular. Well with the effort. Everyone else hung out at the villa. Boring old fat gits. It was a really nice walk though and E was a pretty cool bloke for a teenager. Chatted a fair bit about video games and how his mates would never have done anything like it. Good for him to get out and about. It's sad that a lot of modern kids don't have the drive to go on mini adventures climbing hills and rocks and things like that. It was a long hot walk back so I jump d in the pool.


The evening was basically a repeat. Groundhog night. Lots of booze and red meat. I need a break, but then I always need a break. It turns out D is a bit of a knobhead, C certainly thinks so, made it known when cutting the cake too. Still it was a fun night, bit of wall ball. Still feel a bit like we are crashing a family thing. Never mind they did invite us.

2019-05-30 First day in Spain Xavier - Private chef

0800 Awake and typing this on my phone in bed.

This room is bloody dark. Shutters on windows lead to a great night sleep. I don't know why we don't do this in the UK. Maybe because we just don't have as much sunshine as Spain, so the last thing we want to do is shit it out. We also dont have siestas the Spanish. I know C will want to sleep in, but I want to get up and face the day. I usually shower in the evenings when on holiday, (no point having a shower then hitting the beach to sit in the sea). Bit don't know what the etiquette is even away with friends. That's the thing too. Never really done a holiday with other people. It's usually just the two of us. This is gonna be a weird experience we will either love or hate.


Went to the market to grab some veg and drinks for the BBQ. Was a nice little market. Really busy. Worth going though, the churuos we well tasty, 12 for 4 Euros. Talk about cheap. Also bought 30 eggs for 3 Euros you could live like a king for nothing out here. Got back to the villa after a trip to the sea and party shop for balloons etc. The balloons then blew off into the neighbours, but the builders gave them back. Hung around the pool for a while, looked a bit chilly to get in though. Maybe tomorrow. The weather is around 26c but feels much hotter in the sun. Had a few beers and cooked pasta up for everyone. Pesto and a few tomatoes. Was pretty decent.


Evening BBQ Dani Bowler private chef came over and cooked for us. Did an amazing job, so much food it was unreal. Delicious freshly prepared meats - steak and belly pork. Loads of prawns and ribs. He did the ribs in coke, and a bunch of other unusual ingredients. Well hungry by the time it all came to eat. All the guests turned up around 6pm. Was a real blast. Funny how we made a joke of all being dressed like Roger. Was a real family do and felt a bit like a crasher. Felt welcome of course. Drank loads of booze, stuck to the beer and a couple of glasses of red wine. Avoided spirits so not to to bad. T got a F1 Tag watch for his birthday. Well decent, but some one mentioned that it would cost £300 a year to service. What the hell is that about? Buy a £3k watch you'd expect it to work with out a service every year. Each to there own. Was an absolutely brilliant night, though, loved it good food, drink and friends.

20190529 Traveling to Spain.

0530 I'm in a good but not good mood as I wake up (at 0530am bloody hell that's early). I'm in a great mood as I fly to Spain. The weather looks amazing and I can't wait for some chill out time. I'm also a big pissed off as I times it so I'll miss the Europa League Final. That's a real shame as it would have been really nice way to start off the holiday. Instead I'll be negotiating Alicante airport, picking up a hire car and driving an hour north. Only to get to the villa as the match ends and see everyone allready pissed and in holiday mode. Totally messed that one up. Oh well, can't complain. Chelsea will probably lose the thing anyway.

Plan to be out of here at 14.30 and get to Bristol airport at 15.30 and a flight at 18.00. Land at 21.30. Grab the car and go to villa. I've loaded we go here app with offline Spanish maps so all should be good. The car I've rented is the cheapest possible so I expect it will be tiny.


0830 At work again. Feeling pretty enthusiastic about work today, but that's probably because I'm going on holiday later. Still it's good to get things fired up before I go. The only problem with that is I'll probably get a load of responses to the stuff that I kick off, so will probably have to take my laptop on holiday after all. Mainly to book a trip to Singapore, hopefully. It's quite nice working at the in-laws for a couple of reasons. 1. I get to hide myself away on my laptop and be less sociable ;) 2. There are way fewer distraction on getting stuff done. I just love a change of scene. I really like getting a clearer mind when in new environments.


1400 on the road to Bristol. A pretty uneventful journey. Got to the airport with plenty of time. Was absolutely pissing it down today though, glad to be leaving the country for sunny climes. The check-in was a bit of a ball ache. It always is when Ryanair is involved. Still got the job done and through to the lounge. Got well and truly fleeced on a few drinks in the pricey lounge. £22 for two pints and a gin and tonic. Bollocks to that, then a load of food to take on the plane. Another £20 down. I'll probably just get the lounge next time especially if I'm not driving and I can sink a few more beers.

Got on the plane. Pretty much the last ones on. There was a 30 minute delay due to some screwup on the number of bags in the hold. One extra cos some guy had scanned a bag on his mates boarding pass or something. So they had to offload the bags till they found it and got it back on. All good though sorted and ready to fly. Got a row to ourselves so that's cool. The plane has a load of pissed scousers on it. Clearly making their way to Madrid for the champions League final. Scousers really are one of a kind. I'm not a fan, all tattoos and aggression. On the right side of them and you have a mate for life. On the wrong side and and they'd head butt you. Rekon you'd wanna fight alongside them in the British Army though.

If all goes to plan should land at 2200. That won't be too bad. Glad I went for the hire car that was open later though, otherwise we could have been stuffed. Sensible to check opening times. Spain being an hour ahead, I shouldn't be too zapped on this drive.


0000 arrived at the villa after an hour drive in the dark. Was ok though as the roads were mainly clear. Got shafted on the hire car. Told us we couldn't fit our luggage in the small two seater. Another 60 euros later and we are off in a fiat 500. There was a scuff on the bumper recon they will try it on with that. I took a photo, but it will be in the back of my mind all holiday.

Anyway the villa seems nice and our room seems decent. Not much of a view, but it's clean and comfy and will do us for a place to crash. Hopefully a bit of sunshine tomorrow! Oh and Chelsea won the final 4-1 happy days!

2019-05-28 Getting ready to leave for Spain

Logged back into Trello. Think I'm going to start using that again for my to-do list. I like todo.txt but I just can't seem to stick with it... I really need to get a bit better organised. There is shit loads going on right now.

I've got a lot to get done today. I'm off on holiday tomorrow yesssss!

Loads to do, I'm not packed and I'm still doing washing which I'm desperately trying to get dried and outside when it keeps raining. I'm trying to do this all through the backdrop of conference calls and closing off work so I can enjoy things a bit with my laptop closed for a few days.

All equipment needs to be charged and packed. Cameras, laptops, tablets, phone, power bank. Cables, so many cables. I really could do with traveling light again. My headphones are buggered too, so I'll need to get some of those at the airport. I lose or break so many of these buggers, I should have a subscription service to headphones.

The flight tomorrow is pretty short - 2hrs from Bristol to Alicante. Should be a lovely little hop. Love these short little flights, the last one I was on before that was a 15 hour slog back from Mauritius. Wow talk about ungrateful. But 15 hours in economy isn't nice for anyone. A two hour flight is cool. Sit back, have a rest, read a book and unwind for a bit. I'll be driving the other side so no beer which is a bit of a shame. Got the car hired which is decent, certainly cheaper than getting a taxi £105 for the week, which is good.


Been a pretty manic morning. Managed to get everything done that I wanted to. Except the pesky internal training on ethics. I just can't access the survey. What a pain.

Washing dried and packed, think it may be a struggle to squeeze two people's stuff into one 20kg suitcase. Still it saves £40 to do this and I'm a cheapskate, so worthwhile.


Was just about to travel to Somerset to drop Bells off and had a call from ND. She was on holiday and having a beer. She still wants to hire me in the next 3 months. Very weird and I'm trying to figure it all out to be perfectly honest. She only met me for a couple of hours and is now so impressed she wants to hire me? Suggested an interview with her boss when I get back from holiday. May as well have that chat, but I don't intend to go anywhere right now.

Got to the in-laws ok. Bells went nuts, proper excited, but a nervous kind of excitement. P is being a dick as usual, threatening to spray her with water. Dunno why he does that, just to wind everyone up. Miserable old git. Still he's giving us a lift to the airport so that's decent of him.

In bed by 11.30 and read for a bit. Busy and long day tomorrow.

2019-05-27 Bank Holiday Monday trying to simplify

Today is bank holiday in the UK. This is a good thing, another day off. I damn well work hard enough as it is, I rekon every Monday should be a day off. What happened to the world getting more efficient and moving to a 4 day week. Actually we are all just working harder. On call 24hrs a day in a global economy. The idiots I work with even decided to start a whatsapp group and text me yesterday. What the fuck was that all about. It's a Sunday. The whole point of Sunday is to not have any contact at all with work collegues. If they text today, then I might just leave the group. Maybe then they will get the hint.

I've been offline a lot more recently and it's been really nice. I've found that I'm kind of content in just reading and writing. I don't need to consume the internet to pass the time. I really think that the book I read on digital minimalism might have changed me for the better. There are only a few things on the internet that are essential to my exisitance and even my need for those is starting to wane. It's still pretty bonkers just how much time I would waste on the net. Rather than learning new things in boooks I'd just dumbly scroll through endless drivel. What a waste of time. I woudln't even capture any notes.

Heading off to sunny climes this week. I've got a lot to get done before I go and veg out around a pool. I'm gonna load up as many books as I can. I want to power few a couple I've had lined up for a while. A couple of autobiographies. That's the beauty of a kindle, just load it up and go. I'm seriosusly thinking of leaving both my laptops at home and just traveling with my tablet. The only reason I'd need a laptop is if my work call or if I need to type something up. I could probably do that on my tablet anyway. I kind of want to get to the position where I can just work off a tablet. I especially love that over the summer. My current one is a bit old and rubbish for that, so I might invest in a new one with a deceent keyboard. I'm probably sorted for work then. I kind of like the way that tablets can't multi task. It's actualy a strength in getting things done, being able to focus on just one thing. I need to get back into that.

I've got to sort my bloody photos out. I'm way back on that task. I have some many to delete and sort through it's not even funny. I'm moving off google photos and just want to get back to simply backing these up on my hard drive at home. Why has everything got so complicated? I need a really simple solution to everything. Life's just too short to be messing around with technology. I'll maybe document this a bit better in the future.

The weather was a bit shit today. Cold in fact that's the worst thing about the Britain summer. Never quite sure what you are gong to get or how good the weather will be. It would be nice if we could rely on the weather to have loads of BBQs and really enjoy the summer. That's why I'd quite like to move to Portugal. That's the ultimate dream for me really, great weather food, surfing and a really chilled outdoor lifestyle. That's the plan eventually to get out there and away from this miserable land. I have no idea how brexit is going to affect that plan, but for sure it is not going to help. That's another shit storm that is something worth not reading the news for. Politics in this country has gone to pot, I demon we are the laughing stock of the planet. How not to run a country 101 - simple, just look at the UK as the model.

So there we have another day in the books. A pretty relaxed day all in all.

2019-05-26 Reflecting on a crazy week

So it's been a pretty crazy week. I am proper glad it's Sunday. Ive just got back from a Sunday morning football kickabout and I'm well pleased the week is done. The exec visit was pretty full on and I'm surprised just how intense it was and how much it stressed me out. 8 Hours of presentations a day. 8am meetings to talk shit and the last day late into the night - home at 2.00am. I think I did ok. I also met a new connection ND and she could help secure a new future in this place. That's encouraging. Not that I want to step up. Call it lack of ambition, call it what you will, but I have no inclination to ramp up my responsibility or stress levels for a few extra quid. I'm kinda happy where I am in the pecking order thanks very much.

So after such a burnout week, I'm pleased it's the weekend and a long on at that. C and her sister are out running a wedding this week. That's great, I'll just chill read a book or two and have a few beers. The weather yesterday was spectacular. It's decent today, but not quite so good. It's funny how I haven't been writing. I guess because the pressure was on this week, I didn't really have the time or the inclination. I've still been thinking about going back to paper journaling and scanning that in. I kind of loved pen on paper. That said I type faster. But I like to look back at paper journals more. They feel more authentic somewhow. Perhaps I'll try both, bounce between the two. So back on topic. The objectives for this week were pretty simple.

  • Get 1-2 messages across about the state of the business I work in.
  • Leave a great impression that I'm a top talent at what I do.
  • Make some new connections and networks into the business.

I'm pretty sure I achieved all three of those objectives. I'm naturally a positive person. Although the situation is a bit dire at the moment (zero sales). I can't dwell on the negativity. It just isn't my style. Actually, this style turned the whole thing around and we ended up dining in one of the best and most expensive restaurants in London. Goes to show what being positive and having the right connections can do.

Glad that bloody week is done. That's for sure.

2019-05-25 Book Review - Battle Scars: A Story of War and All That Follows, Jason Fox

A really decent read which focuses on mental health. I only picked this book up as I'm a big fan of the Series - SAS who dares wins, but it was a good read. It details Jason's mental health challenges caused by PTSD and his road to recovery. There's not much action in this book with only a few details of his service in the forces. The book is well written and moves at a good pace, although some chapters feel a bit repetitive. I'd recommend though.

2019-05-21 Visit from my US friends

Up and about at 05.50 want an early start to get going and organised. Shaver out of battery so only half shaved.

Made the 07.22 train which got me into waterloo at 08.05 waiting to meet A. I thought I'd explore a bit about how I feel heading into this meeting. I feel good and I look pretty good. It's a warm sunny day. That always lifts my spirits. This time of year is beautiful. I really need to get out of bed and go for a run on such a lovely morning. Maybe later in the week, for now I just need to get cranking and get to work. I kind of feel like I'm in interview mode, which I guess I am. I feel less exposed that AJ who basically sets the strategy. I'm going to rely heavily on the fact that I've got no budget. How the hell can a marketer be expected to generate pipeline without any budget, that's crazy.

Coming home after reflecting on things the day went pretty well. The jury is still out on J as far as I'm concerned.

2019-05-20 Lost access to Listed

(aaaaand I'm back)

I've lost my access to my listed blog. I uninstalled the extension, but when I re-installed realised I didn't have the unique key to login. Game over. What a shame for that account I was just getting going. Plus I can't go back and edit or delete any of that content. Here's a tip. Don't lose your credentials key you are stuffed if you do. I knew I'd somehow manage to screw something up I usually do.

So it's been a pretty decent day so far. Managed to power through most of my presentation that I prepared for the week. It's looking pretty good. I'm sure J will find a way to tear it apart though. I've put plenty of effort into it and I'm sure that shows. I'm as confident as I can be, I know my shit so will be able to address any tough questions that come my way.

I've gotta have a shave tonight and get the smart clothes out and ironed. In my experience looking the part is as important as what you say. Dress sharp, look healthy bright eyed and it goes a long way to influencing people. That's the thing it is about subtly influencing those people that have flown over from the US to influence us. Take back control by looking great and feeling great. To that end, no booze tonight not even a drop. I'll cook some chicken and some salad - relatively healthy and then get a good nights sleep. Will need to be on the early train incase anything goes wrong.

In other news took B to the vet today. She's not in season so can go to the carers this week. That's great news. Means no 3hr drive down to the inlaws. She is due though so we will see how that goes.

2019-05-19 Bella Season

2019-05-19

It's been one of those days. Our puppy "B" has decided to have her first season. Or at least we think that's what is about to happen. She managed to time it with the busiest week of our year. We had planned to put her into doggy day care. They won't accept here in that condition so it looks like a 3 hour drive to the in-laws to look after. What a right royal pain in the arse. Honestly, like we don't have enough going on, but bless her all the same it's not her fault and she brings so much joy to our lives.

Work wise, why do people email on a Sunday. What wankers. I mean I work hard enough as it is but I'm not answering emails on today. Sunday's are probably the most precious day of the week for me. A chilled time for family and friends before the madness of the week. I shouldn't of checked, but I did. There was the email. An trivial ask, but he can fuck right off. My new boss is already pissing me off. He's just rude. There is no need for shitty emails on a Sunday, demanding information. I'm no way rising to that. He can go do one. I've worked for people like him before. Very Alpha male, likes to call all the shots. I'll just play the game, I always do. I'll get the last laugh as I'm not the one dedicating my time to work on a Sunday. Simple. I only have one laptop that I use for both work and play. In fact it is a company issued laptop. The very one I'm writing this on now. I'll be shutting my email off in future. If he was a nicer bloke I might respond. I just don't deal well with people barking orders at me.

This blog again has the danger of veering off into the negative. Maybe that's not a bad thing. It's good to vent. I'm feeling the pressure this week that's for sure. If you met me in life you'd know I was the most positive person you would be likely to meet. But we all think certain things and like to let things off our chest. I think this lil' blog could be just that. Things will get back on an even keel after next week and become more positive for sure. Normal service will resume. That's a promise.

In other news, C's business is thriving. But she's trying to manage this alongside her day job. I'm massively full of admiration. I couldn't do what she does. Not only is she pumping herself full of drugs to try and give us a baby, she's building an incredible business that she can run from home when she has the baby. If only that last round of IVF worked, we'd be on course for a perfect year. As it is, we are still in total limbo.

Here I am again, not writing articles as such. I really want to write with a bit more meaning. This is just babble as it comes out of my head. No structure, not much considered thinking. I guess maybe that's what I meant by 'uplink' I'm just sending small packets of information to this server, largely in real time. The name is not important, the process is. I have a few predictions for my writing next week. Either:

  1. I will be too busy to write and post - It's crazy busy week next week
  2. I will vent a lot next week - there is a shit load of stuff bubbling to the surface
  3. I won't write because the stuff I want to share is waaay to personal to my work life
  4. I'll write, but I'll write some fluff article about motivation or marketing or something.

I really hope it's number four. I'm being sensible, at least I hope I am. I'm not using real names. I'm trying to obscure the details. I'm also not being nasty, just factual. I expect someone could follow the clues I've left here and likely figure out who I am. Equally, I'd just deny it. But I'm rubbish at lying and getting worse. I'm a natural smiler and as soon as someone accuses me of lying - if I am I'll just smile. That gives it away right away. So I won't be lying here on this blog of mine, but I'll be smiling all the same. It's good to smile. It kinda makes the world go round. At least it does mine :)